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The Little Ground Zero Mosque that Wasn't
by N. L. Wilbur
2010-08-31 07:32:02
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You’ve heard about the “socialists” in Washington – the fascist, liberal, racist, Muslim-terrorist-loving hypocrites who added 10 quadrillion dollars to the national deficit with a slew of job-killing policies that will cannibalize your children and grandchildren by placing them on Death Panels while Obama, Pelosi and Reid supervise this modern-day Holocaust on American prosperity.

However difficult it is to admit it, we’ve all heard this, and not just from wacko, Beck-suckling bloggers living in bomb shelters in the middle of the Arizona desert. Purportedly legitimate news agencies spew this shit unabashedly on a daily basis. And why is this type of discourse aired and re-aired on a 24-hour news circuit? Why do the pundits and critics and commentators and Conservative leaning reporters continually throwing these terms at the American public?

Because it works. If you repeat something over and over and over – such as that the “socialists” in Washington are fascists, liberals, racists and Muslim-terrorist-loving cannibals – then the people who tune in every day to hear the “news” of the day (even when it’s old verbiage applied to new news) will walk away with a unified message. They stick in our heads, these talking points, these one-liners, because they pop up in every news story and pour out of every political pundit’s pie hole, and without even noticing we’re doing it, we end up using these same phrases in private discourse.

Take the issue of the Ground Zero mosque as an example.

There’s the proof. I’m willing to bet my annual tuition at Glenn Beck University that you didn’t even flinch at the term “Ground Zero mosque.” And again, the reason is that you see it everywhere. You probably found this column via a Google search using the term – or because my mom forwarded it to you via e-mail and the subject line read, “Brilliant Column on Ground Zero Mosque.”

While you’re at Google, you might as well go into the Maps section and zoom in on New York City. This will answer the first question nobody bothered to ask as this debate starting turning heads outside of New York: Is the Ground Zero mosque actually at Ground Zero? and if not, is it accurate to call the Ground Zero mosque the Ground Zero mosque?

Exactly where within the site of Ground Zero is this proposed mosque? Is it even touching the “hallowed ground”? – another term you've heard often thanks to Sarah Palin, et. al.

ground_zero_mosque_map_400Obviously, the answer is no.

The proposed mosque is actually closer to New York Dolls, a gentleman’s club, than it is to Ground Zero. Considering how easy that was, it’s a wonder why no Beck-suckling bloggers figured it out – or actual news reporters from legitimate mainstream news agencies.

Let’s move on to the second question that should have been but wasn’t asked from the get-go: Is the Ground Zero mosque a mosque? I know it sounds terribly amateur to ask such a question, but if the truth is of any importance whatsoever, asking this question is imperative.

The organizers, land owners, developers and even the mayor of New York City – a Jew – are calling it a “community center.” As it turns out, the more accurate term for the Ground Zero mosque would be Ground Two (blocks away) Musalla – or Masjid if you’re bending the rules a bit. But neither is a mosque.
If Arabic words induce images of terrorists, as is common for Mama Grizzlies and Joe Six Packs of America, then try the term “prayer room,” as that’s what it is: a prayer room inside a 13-story building that also will house a swimming pool, a gym, an auditorium, a restaurant, a library, a reading room and a September 11 memorial, among other things.

It should go without saying (but obviously doesn’t, or else it wouldn't need to be said), that mosques don’t have restaurants or gyms inside them, just as it is common knowledge that churches and synagogues don’t have strip clubs or places to gamble. And if you don’t believe me, read it from the Cordoba Initiative Web site: “It will be a multi-floor community center open to all New Yorkers, much like a YMCA or Jewish Community Center with a designated prayer space (mosque) in one area to serve the needs of the large existing community of American Muslims in the neighborhood.”

Okay, so maybe I’m wrong. The Web site itself is calling it a mosque – except they put it in parentheses after the term “designated prayer space” as if the Web designer knew that the average American would be so used to the term “mosque” that “designated prayer space” would only confuse them.

It’s getting complicated now, so let’s return to the basics. Muslims will use a portion of this facility to pray to Allah. Muslims also use a portion of the Pentagon to pray to Allah, so is the Pentagon therefore a mosque?

Well, no, you say. Of course it isn’t. The alleged “mosque” inside the Pentagon is actually an interfaith September 11 memorial (similar to the one planned for the Ground Zero mosque) that is open (similar to the one planned for the Ground Zero mosque) to all people – Christians, Jews, Hindus and Muslims alike.

But if utility defines a space, as the argument seems to imply, then for all intents and practical purposes the Pentagon memorial is a mosque, as it welcomes Muslims, who use the facility to pray – on their knees with their heads to the ground, like the terrorists!

Let us use hypothetical scenarios to ponder the ramifications of this type of thinking:

Does praying in a room make it a prayer room? Does shitting in a hole in the forest floor make Earth a toilet? Does worshipping Jesus in a pair of Spider Man pajamas make your sleeping attire divine? Does spitting on the concrete suddenly require that you call the sidewalk a spittoon? Does drinking beer in the living room make it a bar? Does being unabashedly overweight and walking around your house in stained A-shirts and skimpy velour shorts make your house Walmart?


Is the Empire State building, as U.S. News and World Report asks, a pharmacy just because it houses a Walgreens?

Or, for that matter, is Rush Limbaugh a sex symbol just because his ass is bigger than Kim Kardashian's? Is House Minority Leader John Boehner an illegal immigrant just because he's darker than the average Ohioan? (Hell No he isn’t!) Is Sarah Palin a special education teacher just because her child is retarded? Is Fox News racist just because itspundits hate black people? Is Capitol Hill a zoo just because a bunch of monkeys are always throwing shit at each other? (Okay, maybe those last two are bad examples.)

Being Muslim doesn't make one a terrorist, just as being white doesn't make one a member of the KKK. And along the same logic, being aware of how media agencies frame controversial issues doesn't make you unpatriotic. It makes you a responsible media consumer (and, according to some sources, a liberal, Muslim-terrorist-loving cannibal).


1. Google Maps

2. Photo Source: PeopleofWalmart.com

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Chris Greer2010-09-01 10:45:45
I love NY Dolls!

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