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Do you have a condom?
by F. A. Hutchison
Issue 11
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I've come across something cute in the 'Lonely Planet's, Mandarin Praise Book.' I now know how to say the following in Chinese, in case I should need:

"Do you have a condom?"

"Let's use a condom!"

"I won't do it without protection!"

"Kiss me!"

"I want you!"

"I want to make love to you!"

"It's my first time!"

"Don't worry, I'll do it myself!" (I wonder what you would do if your partner said this to you at this point?) 'Go right ahead sweetheart, I like to watch!' Remember a movie entitled, 'Being There?'

"How about getting into to bed?"

"Touch me here!"

"Do you like this?

"I don't like that!"

"I think we should stop now!"

"Oh Yeah!"

"That's great!"

"Easy Tiger!"





"That was amazing!"

"That was weird!"

"That was wild!"

"Can I call you?"

"Can I see you?"

"Can I stay over?"

"I love you!"

I think I will use this 'dialogue as scene study' in my acting class… See what 'comes up!'

Life, it's all too interesting, although most people don't have time to notice!

'Hey, is that a bunch of bananas in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?' I'd like this translated into Chinese, put on a T-shirt!

Do you, are you old enough, to know the name 'Mae West?' A 'reel' woman! She would have appreciated the above! I can see her and W.C. Fields doing this scene!

Today, Zhao Xu Jian swept me away to go to the train station. This in an attempt to help me purchase a train ticket to Uremqi. But, there are none to be had! So, I may be 'stuck' in Shang Hai, until the 'bubble,' bursts.

I've figured out, however, that there may be a 'window of opportunity,' on the 28th or 29th (of January). The hordes are rushing home to be with their families for New Year's Eve (27th), and the big first day of a week long Festival (28th). But, what about once they're mostly home? If the trains are still running this might be the time to travel. I fantasize an empty RR car, maybe ten quiet Chinese people (a non sequitur). Anyway, an idea…

The pigeons in China, they fly round and round!
The pigeons in China, they fly round and round!
The pigeons in China, they fly round and round!

Interesting about these Chinese pigeons, the same ones in Shanghai, are in Kashgar, and doing the same thing: flying round and round. I've been observing them everywhere in China. This may be unique having the same bird species in every part of a country. Shanghai, low, green, wet and warm. Kashgar, higher, brown, dry and cooler! This is a very adaptable bird species. They can live anywhere, and always seem happy about it, flying round and round!

And some of the pigeons are white in color! I mistook them for doves the first time I saw them. But, they walk like pigeons, their little heads rocking back and forth.

'Walk like a pigeon, sit like a turtle, sleep like a dog,' if you want to live long, says a Chinese proverb. I can walk like a pigeon. I can almost sit like a turtle. But, I sleep like a cat, rather than a dog. Oh, well, I didn't want to live forever anyway!

The word for 'pigeon' in Chinese, 'gezi' (in Pinyin), thus I can write the Chinese as, ?? . This is different than in the dictionary, however. In the dictionary they use two different characters to 'write, pigeon.' What gives?

I'm finding this is the challenge with the written Chinese language. What the computer does with 'Chinese Simplified IME,' is different than in this Chinese-English dictionary! Ke garne?

It could be that my 'Chinese-English Pinyin Dictionary,' by New World Press is using the older, 'full-form' characters?

In 1954, the 'The Committee for Reforming the Chinese Language,' 'simplified' some of the characters. However, Taiwan and Hong Kong didn't go along (of course… Someone always has to be different!). Some 2,200 characters were simplified. Now, however, it seems the old-style characters are making a comeback in advertising and on signs (as more attractive).

It seems to me that 'simplification,' in any form is a good idea! Especially in this age of computers.

I wonder what the Chinese characters are for a '1' and a '0?' These, the 'yin and yang' of all computer speak!

Yin ?, yang?, if I write as English (with my computer). Then in the dictionary, yin is… Well, nothing, as it turns out neither word is listed in this dictionary. Interesting…

Language, spoken or written… The least precise way to communicate!

From The Daily Dosage (14 January 2006)

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