Are we sitting comfortably?
If yes then I’ll begin.
To tell a tale so tall and tough
your head and tongue will spin.

Two sailors sat and sung a song
that sounded slightly odd.
They sniffed and sobbed through salty tears,
those soppy sozzeled sods.

Fore before they bought their bubbly beer
both battled a brutish beast.
That bit and bashed their boat to bits,
then bobbed back down beneath.

Their friend called Fred had fallen foul
of the ferocious fishy foe.
Four frightening fangs filléted fine Fred,
who floats five fathoms below.

The despairing duo drifted daily,
dangerously dehydrated.
But docile dolphins dragged them from death,
which is where it all got complicated.

Land lovers laughed at their ludicrous lies,
when they landed at port Lilly Lot.
Labelled as lunatics, lethal and loathsome,
they were locked up and left there to rot.

They persistently pleaded, to the police,
who prodded and poked at their claims.
Until Percy the pirate produced the proof
that proved the beast was to blame.

With reputations regained, they returned to their wives,
then regrouped to remember the dead.
Rat-arsed and raucous they raised the roof
as they recited their rhyme about Fred.

Through the tumbling tears they told the tale,
adding tentacles and teeth every time.
Till the tale became turgid and taller than truth,
due to too much tequila and wine.