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Managed Coincidence or Divine Providence?
by Leah Sellers
2009-04-28 08:33:43
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"Yes, Cluckhead?"

"Have you seen that good for nothin' Human Being, Tin Can Lizzy today?"

"Who're callin' 'good for nothin', Cluckhead? What have you got your feathers all ruffled over?" Tin Can Lizzy called out as she approached her two Barnyard Friends.

"You heard about the epidemic-pandemic, If Pigs Could Fly Flu?"

Tin Can Lizzy sighed, and shaking her head from side to side replied, "Yes, unfortunately, I have. It's the talk of the Barnyard and the Town. It's got everybody in a dither. It appears to be the Tri-fection of all Flus. Pigs and Birds are accusing one another, and their Human Handlers, of giving the If Pigs Could Fly Flu to Them. And the Human Handlers are accusing one another, and the Pigs and Birds, of giving the If Pigs Could Fly Flu to Them. Everybody's pointing accusatory Fingers, Hooves and Tail Feathers at one another. Screeching, squawking and squalling about how the If Pigs Could Fly Flu is gonna kill off all of the Mammals and Birds on Earth."

"I feel a sneeze coming on," Hambone sniffled.

Cluckhead cackled loudly and frantically flew into the nearest tree.

Tin Can Lizzy dug into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a handkerchief. Holding the limp rag out to Hambone, she said, "Here, use this. I hear that this If Pigs Could Fly Flu is airborne. Coughin', Sneezin', swappin' spit while Kissin', or Shakin' the Hands, Hooves or Chicken Feet of whoever's infected, and then rubbin' your Eyes, touchin' your Face, or puttin' your Hands, Hooves or Feet into your Mouth, Beak or Snout are all ways of passing this dis-ease along."

Hambone took Tin Can Lizzy's hanky gladly, "Thank you, kindly, Lizzie." After sloppily snorting into the rag twice, Hambone looked up at Cluckhead. "No wonder they call you a Yella-bellied Chicken!"

Cluckhead flew down from the tree in a flurry of angry cackles and scattered feathers. "I'm not the only one who's Afraid, Hambone. Everyone I've clucked to today feels the same way I do. Some of my relatives from Mexico flew in to stay at Our Henhouse for a while. They were worried about making it across the Texas Border. Everyone's talking about shutting down all of the Border Crossings completely until this If Pigs Could Fly Flu is under some kind of control. It's got Everybody cluckin' "'

"Yep, it's brought up all of the Border Crossin' Issues and Fears again," Tin Cab Lizzy agreed. "Some people are callin' up their local politicians and tellin' them to 'Fence 'em out. Keep 'em out. - Way out'! They're telling the politicians to keep the Mexicans, legal and illegal, out of America. They're claimin' that the Border Crossers bring deadly diseases with 'em, and take away Their jobs. Yep, The Fear Monger Boogie is the dance tune They're all hoppin' to these days. It's such a shame, too. Especially since President Obama just got back from visitin' all of those Latin American folks down in Mexico. Extending a Hand of Friendship and all."

Hambone shook his hanky vigorously back and forth within his right front hoof while exclaiming, "I heard from Maybelle Longhorn that the archaeologist who greeted and shook hands with President Obama, at some museum in Mexico, keeled over dead the day after from the If Pigs Could Fly Flu. We're lucky that the President is such a healthy Human Being. The incubation period for the If Pigs Could Fly Flu is around 48 hours. President Obama shook hands with that poor Human almost nine days ago and doesn't appear to have any of the If Pigs Could Fly Flu symptoms."

Cluckhead shuffled her scrawny legs around in the dirt. "Don't you find it odd that right after Obama gets back from his European and Latin American trips that Pigs, Birds and Human Beings start droppin' like flies with the If Pigs Could Fly Flu? It's almost as though someone wanted to ruin the Seeds of Good Feelin's and Good Faith President Obama's trip was trying to Sow."

Hambone snorted loudly, "You and your Feather-brained conspiracy theories, Cluckhead."

"Well, listen to the news Bacon Bottom. They're ponderin' tellin' Everyone all over the World to put off travelin' to foreign countries anywhere. They're igniting the International Paranoia and Fear of Others. Not me," squawked Cluckhead.

"This epidemic-pandemic could be just the thing needed to launch the movement toward Universal Healthcare in America. The Timing is uncanny. They'll have to take care of rich and poor alike or risk losin' Everybody," Tin Can Lizzy chimed in.

"You could have a point their Lizzie," Cluckhead agreed. "Why just this morning I heard President Obama say on the news that he wants to emphasize the Sciences and Math in Education across the board by spending 3% of America's national budget on makin' it happen. He says we need to strengthen and support Our country's future strides in Medical and Other Sciences."

"Alright, Bird-Brain. What's two plus two," Hambone asked.

"Your two squinty eyes and your broken down pair of bifocals, Four Eyes," Cluckhead answered sarcastically.

"Ooh, I feel another sneeze comin' on," Hambone wheezed getting his hanky ready for the onslaught. "It's a big one!"

Cluckhead flew as fast as her bouncin' bottom would carry her for the same nearby tree she had sought for safety beforehand. After she landed upon her perch, she looked down at Hambone and awaited the Dreaded Germ Ridden Sneeze.

"Ha! Fooled You! See how easy you Birds are to scare and panic!" Hambone declared.

"Now, now, Hambone. Everyone is on the verge of panickin' over this If Pigs Could Fly Flu. It could be that it's 'all much to do about nothin'' or it could be that this dis-ease is really somethin' we should All be worried about. The trial is still out on this one. We need more Data and less drama and over reaction." Tin Can Lizzie interrupted.

"Let's not forget how much moolah some of the pharmaceutical and medical companies are gonna make off of the vaccines and other medications used to fight this If Pigs Could Fly Flu. If you ask me, it's time to look into buying some stock in those Golden Gooses," Cluckhead exclaimed.

"And what do you intend to buy stocks with, Toothpick Toes? Your runny 'ole hen's eggs?" Hambone snickered.

"Laugh if you want to, but one creature's Flying Pig crash and burn is another creature's Flying Pig lift off into financial prosperity," Cluckhead retorted.

"Y'all are makin' mighty light of the hundreds of people in Mexico who have died from this If Pigs Could Fly Flu. And of the hundreds of Swine and Birds who have already dropped dead all over the World from it. As I recall, some of them were y'all's relatives." Tin Can Lizzy reminded her Friends.

"You've got a point there, Lizzie," Hambone admitted. "I stand on all four hooves, corrected and humbled."

"Y'all heard about the schools in Cibola and Schertz, Texas closin'? There's talk in Bexar County, Texas about lettin' school out for a week, because of the two or more students who got sick with the If Pigs Could Fly Flu in that area. They're even discussing closing all of the schools nationwide in Mexico until they get a handle on this MegaBug," Cluckhead announced.

"Next thing you'll be tellin' us that someone created this If Pigs Could Fly Flu in a lab somewhere, filled with evil scientists in white coats wearing thick black rimmed eye glasses," Hambone snorted.

"Well, as a matter fact, some people are saying that this If Pigs Could Fly Flu was engineered in a lab, and set loose on us Birds first, a few years ago. Then given to you Swine, and then the Humans. Each time it mutates - each time it jumps from Bird to Bird, Bird to Pig, Pig to Pig, Pig to Human and Human to Human - it gets stronger and more potent." Cluckhead explained.

"Nature does that same thing," Hambone argued.

"You two, please, stop yammerin' at one another," Tin Can Lizzy said exasperatedly. "Whether this is Managed Coincidence for Power or Profit or Mysterious Divine Providence, the If Pigs Could Fly Flu is nothin' to sneeze at. We need to Calmly let Everyone we know hear about it, and about how to prevent it. The doctors and vets are recommending that Everyone frequently Wash your Hands, Hooves and Wing Feathers with soap and water. That Everyone cover your Mouth, Beak and Snout when you Cough or Sneeze. That you limit your travel, flying, wallowing and exposure to large groups of people, swine or fowl whenever possible. That if you have a fever, cough, respiratory stuffiness, general aches and pains, and other symptoms normally associated with the flu, that you stay Home and not go to work or school And that you go to your family physician (or vet) or local clinic instead of the hospital's emergency services, if you feel as though you've contracted the If Pigs Could Fly Flu."

Cluckhead suddenly plucked a worm out of the ground. "Yummy, just in time for lunch." Frowning, she turned to Hambone and offered him a portion of her worm. "Does this Worm taste fishy to you?"

Smacking and chewing, Hambone screwed up his hairy Snout before saying, "Nope, tastes like Flu infested Chicken to me! Ha! Ha! Snort! Snort!"

"Will you two ever stop goin' at one another?" Tin Can Lizzy asked her two Friends, smiling.

Hambone and Cluckhead winked at one another and both declared, "When Pigs Fly!"

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Emanuel Paparella2009-04-28 21:23:54
Indeed Leah, in between coincidences and providential events, there is Junghian synchronicity. As Theilard De Chardin pointed out, there are too many coincidences in the Darwinian paradigm which contradict the Newtonian one and therefore we need a system beyond both systems. The synchronicity consists in the fact that there happens to be a book out recently which does just that. It is titled “A Third Window: Natural Life beyond Newton and Darwin." I have just sent in a review of the book to Ovi; so stay tuned. Perhaps from such a third window we’ll be able to see “flying pigs.” Life is mysterious indeed but it is not haphazard. Perhaps God does play dice with the cosmos after all for She is not an enlightened rationalist.

Leah Sellers2009-04-28 23:30:25
Hello Brother Emanuel,
I look forward to your review, and I appreciate your dry sense of humor - ha !
I have always been one to believe that every theory has validity, workable realities, and synchronistic values. I also believe that the Cosmos is as much a Rationalist as She/He is an Idealist filled with Imagination, Invention and Wonderment !
I'm looking forward to a Future in which 'Pigs Fly', as well, dear sir.

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