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by Asa Butcher
2008-10-26 08:48:49
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Eight firefighters have been called in to help find an escaped hamster in East Lothian. Two crews used a chocolate-covered camera and a vacuum cleaner to try and locate missing Fudgie at six-year-old Zoe Appleby's home in Dunbar.

Sweet, but a) is it news? b) isn't it a waste of time and resources? c) it's a rodent!

* * * * * *

A naked man found wedged in the chimney of a supermarket in Wigan has been arrested on suspicion of burglary.

It sounds like Santa had one too many sherries.

* * * * * *

US Republican presidential candidate John McCain has accused his rival, Barack Obama, of supporting both teams playing in the baseball World Series.

McCain's next battle: My dad's bigger than your dad!

* * * * * *

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has threatened to sue a publishing company if it does not withdraw from shops a "voodoo doll" in his image.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but pins in my groin is just plain wrong.

* * * * * *

The Smurfs celebrate their 50th birthday this week with a feature-length movie and new television series in the making.

Remember the playground joke: What is Blu-tac? Smurf poo!

* * * * * *

A temporary error with the UK's iTunes Music Store has caused some inoffensive song titles to be censored. Tracks affected include Hot by Avril Lavigne, which is displayed as H*t, while The Cheeky Girls' biggest hit has become Cheeky Song (Touch My B*m).

I don't understand, what's wrong with the word 'bam'?

* * * * * *

Scientists in the US say they have developed the ability to selectively wipe out uncomfortable memories.

Americans are lining up to have the last eight years wiped.

* * * * * *

Tick tock! Tick tock! Tick tock!

Don't forget that clocks turned back one hour earlier this morning.

* * * * * *

Wow! An extra hour to read the one and only Ovi magazine…

You are so lucky!

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Emanuel Paparella2008-10-26 13:38:41
Well, we did not need American scientists to tell us about selective wiping out of bad memories. Nietzsche could have told us that indeed we all become very selective when it comes to bad memories because we are afraid they will kill us; but then he also added that "whatever does not kill us makes us stronger."

Emanuel Paparella2008-10-26 13:42:40
Regarding the McCain add on top, indeed he too wants to spread the wealth: upward only. Of course, Joe the plumber does not even surmize that, and he will soon be running for Congress as a maverick. This time around, lipstick on a pig will simply not do...

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