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The future of sex ed' The future of sex ed'
by Joseph Gatt
2021-07-17 07:20:32
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Right now the paradigm goes: sex ed' is mostly about general sex and contraceptives.

But sex ed' should really contain three sections:

-Romantic sex

-Recreational sex

-Sex work

sed0001_400-and I'd add a fourth one which would be “sex as a spectator”, as in watching movies or going to shows without being involved in the act itself.

Of course romantic sex is about couples. Recreational sex is about those who enjoy sex without being romantically involved with their partners. And sex work is any sexual performance that involves getting paid, but does not involve recreation or romance. That is, sex work is about “submission” to the client or director's orders.

I say this, and it's important to discuss this topic, because a lot of teenagers and young adults are confused about their sex lives. A lot of times, within couples, romantic sex gets mixed up with attempts at recreational sex or sex work.

Big question. Is sex ed' “perverted”. And how would one define “perversion”?

In society, men and women have all sorts of cues and leave all kinds of clues when it comes to hinting that they are not interested in sex.

-Using words like “man” or “dude” or “bro” or “sister” or “kid” or “kiddo” or phrases like “oh, you're such a cute child!” when speaking among adults.

-Inviting crowds. Couples usually want to be left alone. So when people invite large crowds into the conversation, that usually means they're not interested in a romantic relationship. When in love, men and women usually want to be left alone with their partners. So if your partner keeps inviting large crowds and bringing them home like all the time, you're in trouble.  

Then you have the opposite.

-Inviting people for a meal or a cup of coffee, face-to-face, with no intruders. That's usually a hint at interest in a romantic relationship.  

-Common practice: inviting someone for a meal in the presence of the husband/wife/partner and 90% of the conversation is between one partner and the one guest. Happens a lot, and that's usually the partner hinting that their couple is on the verge of collapse.

-And, of course, calling people pet names, pads on the back, using expressions like “honey” or “darling” and the like.

But then perversion is simply when instead of making small talk, individuals focus the entire conversation on sex, either directly, or indirectly, using all sorts of hints and euphemisms.

BUT, keep in mind that if a man or a woman focuses all the small talk on sex, that could be a sign that they are actually trying to repel you, as in, they sense that you're interested in a relationship with them, and they're trying to get you to lose interest by focusing the entire conversation on sex.

Anecdote: in my college years, there was this girl who kept sitting next to me in the 5th semester Monday morning class. Very flirtatious with me (she always was, but that class was the first time we were in the same class). Out of instinct, I would say, I kept telling that girl “you and I should sleep together, how about tonight?” and she would giggle at that. But I was really trying to tell the girl I was not interested.

Then, of course, there's the privacy aspect. This is complicated territory.

Romantic sex is a private act. Duh!

Recreational sex, now this is complicated turf. If two people “hook up”, what level of privacy should that have? Example: many years ago, I lived in a small dormitory, with 30 people in the dorm, 20 women and 10 men. I locked myself up in my room and did my own thing. But a lot of men and women, especially the newcomers, did not realize that their “hook-ups” were not private at all, and the “sluts” were very quickly identified. Many did not realize that the small size of the community meant everyone knew everything about everyone else, except for me of course, as I was too busy meditating science to care about what people did on their beds.

Sex work. Again, technically, the contract between a client and a sex worker is that the act should be private and confidential. But betrayal of confidentiality is way more common, and is the norm rather than the exception.

So much for the topic. Now to other topics.

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