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Inventions Inventions
by Joseph Gatt
2021-04-18 09:55:19
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Invention 1: the phone ring system

How many times did you leave your house or your office and forget to take your phone with you. So you have to drive back home or to the office to pick up your phone.

The system is simple. We install a sensor/button on your doorknob. Each time you touch the doorknob, your phone rings. That way, if your phone is in your pocket or bag, safe. If it's in the living room or in your bedroom or on your desk, you go pick it up. No more need to drive back home to get the phone, and to be late for work.

You can also install “ring boxes” on items that you forget on a regular basis (car keys or wallet or medication) that way you're sure to leave home without forgetting those items.

inven0001_400Invention 2: Shop and eat in the middle of the night (app)

It's 3 AM. You need cigarettes. Or a meal. Or food. Or groceries. Maybe you're stuck at work on a project. Or you're a student studying for the mid-terms. Or there's a party and there are still quite a few guests left.

3AM SHOPPING is an app that enables you to find which grocery stores, restaurants, bars, shops or supermarkets are still open in the middle of the night in your area. Perhaps they can have food or items delivered to your place. Or you can find them on a map and walk (or drive if you're sober) to them to purchase the items you need.

Invention 3: solution for a water-starved world

I don't know if this one exists or if it has ever been offered (maybe I've offered it before?). Instead of using a handle on the faucet for taps to get water, you basically have a button on the tap. The button ejects ten seconds worth of water, and you have to press it again to get more water.

The system could be used for kitchen sinks, bathroom sinks and showers. That way, water automatically stops pouring after 10 seconds, and you need to repress the button to get an extra dose of water.

You could have two buttons: one for high pressure and one for low pressure. And you adjust temperature with “plus” or “minus” buttons. That way, people don't waste water when they soap up during showers, don't waste water between washing two different dishes when they wash the dishes, don't waste water when they brush their teeth or wash their hands, or leave the tap water running while they go somewhere and come back.

Also... important point... that way accidental house floods (due to leaving the tap water running by accident) or problems with leaks (because of too much water pressure) should but cut by half. That would save fire fighters unnecessary interventions.

“But I want a nice warm shower after a long tedious day at work!” If you need that, perhaps bath houses or water therapy spas and the like could do the trick and help you deal with stress. Otherwise, save water when you shower, wash the dishes, wash up or clean the house. Water scarcity oblige. It's either that, or we will all have to go to the fountain and pick up water for daily use.  

Invention 4: Consumer chats dot com

Simple concept. This website is a huge forum for consumers.

In this day and age, pretty much the only way shoppers and consumers can get reviews for consumer products is via a “star rating system” in some online stores where people rate the product that they purchased. Unfortunately such ratings systems are often filled with people who never purchased the product, never saw the product, never used the product, yet give it a “five star rating.”

So consumer chats dot com is a forum where shoppers and consumers discuss, in chatting form, the worth and value of the products they use.

How can this be useful? For example, you are looking to re-decorate your house and don't know what company would do a great job at that. You ask the question in the forum, and hopefully people will help you out.

Or. You want to know where to get orthopedic beds that would be a good fit for your (or your loved ones) condition. You ask the question on the forum, and hopefully someone will answer it. Or the question has been answered in the past.

Or. (haha) you want to know if “hooked on phonics” really works for those kids. Instead of calling 1800ABCDEFG, you ask the question on the forum, and perhaps a few people who actually used the product will tell you that it worked, how it worked, how it helped. Or that it was a waste of time.

Or. The new abcPhone is out and you don't wanna be one of those crazy people running to abcStore to stand in line all night waiting to purchase the thing. But you want to get a sense and a feel for how the phone works. Is it good? Are there bugs. Does this or that thing work?

That way, eventually, when people chat, interact, ask each other questions, sometimes troll each other, you can eventually hopefully have your questions answered for any consumer product you might need information for.

Invention 5: E-League dot com

I know video games can be addictive and should be played with moderation. I also know that video games distract from homework and can lead to social isolation.

But, with moderation, electronic games can give you a sense of identity and something to talk about with your friends or classmates or colleagues. Except that no one really cares about what you do in the privacy of your Dungeons and Dragons or Half Life or FIFA or Mario Kart.

But, here's my invention. E-League.com compiles the most played games in strategy and sports. And tournaments are held on a regular basis; let's say on an ongoing basis. Like in the ATP or WTA tennis tour, tournaments are held every week. But it's even better than that, because tournaments are held every day, at any time and at any moment.

You join a tournament. Play. Perhaps forfeit. Or perhaps win. Perhaps win the World Cup. Or the Italian League. Or perhaps you bow out of the first round. And you try your luck again.

Eventually, there's a ranking system. The ranking system is not like you are 555,555th out of 28 million people (that would be too boring and your friends wouldn't care). The ranking system would be a “division” system where you would have three “big” divisions (gold league, silver league, bronze league) and those divisions will be sub-divided and you have first division (the top “star players”) and of course perhaps some of the lower divisions that could have names like the “elf division” or the “Puma feather league” or the “Adidas sand dune league” and the like (that would get money from sponsors as well) and that league would correspond to a sub-division (94th league, 130th league, 220th league) in ways that could perhaps get you to talk about something at school.

Eventually, you decide how to “up” your game. Perhaps you're going this just for fun and don't have that many ambitions. You play for play. Perhaps you daydream about making it all the way to Division 1 (the Mercedes Superleague or something) and you work hard to make it all the way to the top.

Perhaps you're not focused and play in multiple leagues. Perhaps you're just killing time after a long day at work. Perhaps your boss is not around and did not leave instructions so you kill time at the office by playing the league.

So, instead of playing e-sports or strategy games just for the hell of it, you play for rankings and you are the member of a league, and you try to avoid relegation, or try to get promoted to the higher league. Or, your a sore loser and keep deleting your accounts and forfeiting tournaments and keep re-creating accounts and trying to “win” this time around.

For popular games like FIFA or NBA Live or something, you would of course have anywhere from Division 1 to Division 1,000 or something. But, for less popular games, you could have three, four, five divisions.

Even better: In addition to a “global division membership” you also get a “local ranking” of sorts. For example, for each game, you have Division 1 and 2 are of course Global divisions. But the smaller divisions, in addition to a global ranking, have a “local” or “regional” ranking, so you would have Punxsutawney Division 1, 2, 3 or Baltimore division 1, 2, 3 or Athens Division 1, 2, 3 or Timbuktu Division 1, 2, 3. That would give you something to brag about at work, or something to make fun small talk with. You get the idea.

Final invention: check list dot com

Now this is one of those fun, experimental websites.

A kind of Wikipedia, but for checklists.

Example: you want to purchase a house in Florida. So users, in Wiki format, suggest a checklist of things you might need when you purchase a house (paperwork, fees, administrative procedures etc. etc.).

Other example: you are travelling to Japan (as an expat employee or as a tourist) what is the checklist of things you might need as an American (or as a European).

Other example: You are going to enroll at Aardvark College, what is the checklist of things you need when you apply/ when you gain acceptance to the college.

Other example: You are going to organize a birthday party for your child/a Bar Mitzvah/a Communion/ a Baptismal/and Ashura event for your child or any special event, and what kind of checklist could be suggested?

Final example: a small thing like you are going to the beach/hiking at any mountain/riding a bicycle on any trail/going on a ski trip/heading to a job interview/heading to your first day at the workplace/your child is going to school for the first time etc. etc. and you have Wiki users suggest and edit checklists of things you might need.

Enough inventions for the day. See you next time!

An important note from the author

Dear readers,

After 14 incredible years at Ovi Magazine, time for me to get a paid job. I avoided traditional media all those years because of the rigors of the methodology. I think in generalities, traditional media is too focused on the specifics. I think in approximations, traditional media tends to want the details of the facts.

I've said it before, be it the economy, astrophysics or sociology, if you want the specifics, we might as well take a long nap together, because things are going to get boring. All those years I tried to make discoveries useful, but also fun, easy to read, easy to produce and replicate, and helpful to people.

Whatever job I get, I hope I'll still be allowed time to read, to think about discoveries, to reflect on the past and the future, but in a more controlled way, surrounded by family, friends and colleagues who hopefully love me as much as I love them, and want the best for me.

Believe it or not, all those years I had been on my own. All by myself. Of course I had virtual colleagues, but very few trusted colleagues on the ground. I had to do my own research, cook up my own stories, and the decisions to publish this or that at this or that date was all mine.

Will I ever come back? I don't want that decision to be all mine. For 30+ years I have been a street kid taking my own decisions. It's about time I work with a team that can help me, correct me if necessary, and play a bit of a moderator role with me.

And thank you dear readers. There were times we laughed so much my belly hurt. There were times we cried so much my optic nerve swelled.

And, I just told a friend of mine "I want my readers to get used to me" and the guy was like "dude, guys like Micheal Jordan or Kobe Bryant, you never get used to those guys. Every game is an adventure with those guys." And to that my answer was "if science and journalism can be as exciting as the NBA, and that I have something to do with that, mission accomplished."

Good day, good night, and good luck.

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