“I will repeat that when humans die Doug, both their material bodies and their spirit are being recycled, they return to their source. Your flesh is being reabsorbed by the Earth which made it, while your soul, if it is cleansed and purified, becomes part of the cosmic energy, the universe, or “god” as you call it. There is no heaven or hell, you do not get a second chance in life,” Fin resumes his discourse, as he sinks back in his armchair. Doug is then positioning himself at the entity’s feet, like a child that is listening to his grandparent’s tales.

-Jenny’s illness was not deliberate or anyone’s wish. As I tried to explain to you earlier, humans do not get sick as a punishment by a divine being’s decision. You are mortal and death is part of your circle of life. All creatures and material elements will at some stage expire, for your world to renew itself. It is the law of the universe and none can escape it.

During this process, many will have their physical bodies malfunctioning. It could be down to faulty genetic codes, an accident, mental disorders, or bad health and hygiene. In a case like Jenny’s, a body is programmed since its conception, to exist with a time-bomb, as self-destructive mechanism. This was inherited by your father’s genes Doug, that is why there was nothing anyone could do to prevent it.

The only feat you may blame yourself for, is that you did not spend quality time with her when you still had the chance. You instead chose to be consumed by trivialities, plus lose yourself to addiction. Jenny’s time on earth, was destined to be short. The fact that her death occurred soon after your divorce, was just a coincidence. All you have to learn from this, is to appreciate people and each moment of your life, when the opportunity is given to you.

“But why Jenny had to get this illness so severe, why couldn’t she survive it like many others. Me and Anne prayed and begged God so intensively, we did everything we could. For a while, it seemed that we had a chance to be a normal family again. What happened to my daughter, brought us all closer again. If there was any cosmic justice Jenny would live, and we could continue our lives as intended in the beginning. But no one listened Fin, nothing was there to save her,” Doug asked with a bitter disappointment in his words.

-You must understand that “god” cannot hear you, it can feel instead when something is wrong. There is no man, woman, or anything out there with a physical body as you know it, with ears turned towards Earth, listening to the prayers of the mortals. That is something that you invented during the dawn of your existence, to soothe your fear and uncertainty that came with it.

Praying works similarly to meditation. When you entreat your gods, you in fact connect to your inner spirit, you silence all other voices in your head, so that you can draw the strength you need to go through a difficult situation. You can view things clearer and find better solutions, by tapping into your own subconscious.

“In other words, the euphoria and clarity you feel when you pray, it is sourced from your own very spirit. Which is of course connected to the “supreme being” you are worshiping, so you may say that you evoke your vigour from it. Your spirit is part of it, a piece of the universe. When you die, your soul merges once again with its source and that is what you call, “heavenly state”, balance restored and your ultimate destination,” Fin explains.

-However, your “god” cannot intervene to your individual grievances, just as you cannot hear and acknowledge what is going on in your body at a molecular level. You do not react if one cell of yours malfunctions, but you only intercede when your whole organism is ill. Then you seek medication or treatment. So, to believe that if one’s daughter, mother or other family member is dying, the supreme being will have to act, is an extremely human centred view.

In addition, the universe will pursue the restoration of balance at any cost, to preserve the health of its totality. If something is faulty, it will try to replace it and reuse it. It will recall and absorb it back into itself, to heal and find a new usage for it. Just as you maintain your machines, crops, and households. And while humans may not understand it, or feel saddened by its actions, the supreme being will try and equilibrate life in any of its realms.

“Humanity has developed a higher consciousness and is often acting selfishly. You think of yourselves as not being part of something greater, but the masters of your realm. Thus, you are often destroying it, and by doing that you are affecting its balance. It is then “god’s” responsibility, to try and manage human activity and numbers as well,” Fin is continuing with his lecture.

-You are saying then that many people must die, for the universe to restore itself. That is so cruel from a human perspective. If God feels this way about us, why then he has given us emotions, so that we can feel the loss, love, pain, and sadness. What kind of sadistic entity is this?

-Love and all other sentiments you possess and experience, are pure energy. You cannot separate any of them from your matter. They exist in the universe as well, in various forms. They act as a medium to connect you to each other, and even “god” itself.

In the microcosm, these energies are manifested in a totally different manner. The law of attraction within atom molecules, results in larger in mass elements, which in turn create matter when they react or combine themselves with another. The same energy is then being transformed in all living things, as the emotions that you speak of.

“Apply the same rule to a scale as large as the universe, and you get greater and mightier forces in it. Thus, if this potency manifests itself differently in various stages of its existence, can you understand that “god” experiences an entirely dissimilar kind of ardour, “morality” or “feelings” than humans,” Fin explains.

“And if you ever wonder how your deity might look like, thinks, or conducts itself, then try to compare yourself to a molecule or a cell of your body and you get an idea. The smaller the scale of consciousness, the more primitive and simplistic in form, or uncomplicated and ingenuous in sentiments and wisdom,” he adds.

-You are trying to tell me that God, does not think or feel like humans. Then why it requires us to worship it?

-It is not “god” that needs your prayers, sacrifices and veneration, it is yourselves. It is prefect compared to you; it does not need your flattery. You are seeking a way to connect to it, but you have not yet grasped that the only way to achieve this is via your own spirit and by loving another human being. Once you rid yourselves of your demons, and bring your dark side into the light, then you have truly found your inner self. Only then you can love or merge yourselves with a person. And that is the closest you get to the divine during your lifetime.

However, your spiritual leaders were not aware of this since they are humans, incomplete, and prone to vices too. Or they simply preferred to channel your worship towards themselves, to establish power and influence over you. Something that “god” does not seek or needs. All that the supreme being requires of you, is to keep the balance of everything in place, and love each other; not built palaces and temples, empires, and religious dogmas.

Doug gets up and walks slowly towards the window, as he now notices the brightness which looms outside. His naked body is washed with cosmic light, as his eyes observe in awe the countless stars and galaxies. A sense of euphoria, an exalted feeling took over his consciousness. Suddenly he focuses on a single star, burning brighter in the night-time sky. It appeared to be aware of him too, as its rays reached out to Doug.

He felt the energy from the celestial body travelling through his body, cleansing his fears and anguish. The cold night breeze turned into warmth. As Doug was bathing into the light, the chamber begun to be cleansed of the black tar, as its walls were restored to their previous colour. The dark substance rushed to join Fin, who was now absorbing it all through the lower part of his body, welcoming it as he smiled.

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The painting: Persephone The Death of the Maiden that accompanies the text, is Christos Mouzeviris’ creation.

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Fin Elegy
Chapter 1: The Visitor. Part 1 - Part 2

Chapter 2: Fin's Theory. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Chapter 3: About Doug. Part I - Part 2 - Part 3 

Chapter 4: Loving Doug. Part 1- Part 2 - Part 3 

Chapter 5: Jenny. Part 1 - Part 2  - Part 3

 Epilogue