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(Semi-fictional) conversation with an anti-Semite (Semi-fictional) conversation with an anti-Semite
by Joseph Gatt
2020-09-07 08:40:01
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To the protestors around the world, peaceful and violent: "our slogan must not be: burn, baby, burn. Our slogan must be: learn, baby, learn, so we can earn, baby, earn"
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in "The Radical King" (a compilation of Dr. King's speeches and other documents).

Questions that anti-Semites like to ask me, and answers to those questions

-Judaism is the only sectarian religion in the world. You Jews should adopt universalism.

Answer: Good point on Judaism not embracing universality. But I, as a Jew who has traveled the world, find your concept of universality strange.

Universality is an interesting ideal. It means all human beings have the same values, beliefs, rituals, traditions and mindset.

jud01_400To me, this mentality causes conflict and frustration more than anything. Should we all say “Mohamed rassul Allah” (Mohamed is God's prophet) or should we all say that Jesus Christ is the Messiah and died for our sins? Should we all shake hands, or bow, or fist-bump? Should reincarnation be the universal model, or should it be heaven and hell? Should we all eat kimchi for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or should we opt for baked beans and bacon, or should we adopt fresh croissant and toast with butter and jam?

To me (criticize me all you want) the very notion that Judaism rejects universality and universalism, and embraces the idea that we are a religion for the Jews and that our values belong to us and to no one else is what makes us a peaceful, peace-loving people (you can laugh at me all you want).

Why? Because we Jews embrace difference. We love different people! We don't mind the Koreans eating kimchi and rice for breakfast, or the French refusing to shake hands with strangers at a party, or the Americans chatting with each other until 2 AM or the Germans refusing to change our forks at the restaurant.

We don't mind different people and their beliefs. To us Jews, if the Muslims want to worship the way they worship, we don't judge them! Same goes with the Christians, Buddhists, Hinus, Sikhs, Baha'i, you name it. We don't judge people for the way they worship or behave.

Let me tell you the truth. When I'm at a cocktail party and that I hear people constantly discussing how people should behave as opposed to how they are behaving, and that there are “universal” values everyone should adopt, I think to myself, poor guys, they are going to be depressed if they stay in this country for too long.

Because we Jews accept difference, and recognize differences, and accept the idea that we are a different people living in the midst of people with different values that makes us more flexible and more adaptable.

To me, embracing diversity and accepting people's different beliefs is the very notion of universality. All people are sectarian. That's the truth! But some people (like us Jews) are comfortable with sectarianism, other people are uncomfortable with sectarianism and treat people from different sects as “deluded people” or liars or people who are going to hell or something.

So who's being peaceful here?

-Jews have a lot of secrets. Jews spy on everyone. The Mossad is very dangerous.

In many cultures around the world, a Jew is a code word for power and money.

Now in a lot of cultures, rich and powerful people are “respected” by society (but secretly despised) and a lot of people want to become rich and powerful without lifting a finger.

And in a lot of cultures, the notion of “secrets” and “privacy” is a deeply valued and cherished notion, and the idea that anyone could spy on your “secrets” will tend to bother you.

In a lot of countries, your sex life, your income, and your intimate beliefs are not something that you would want to share with the rest of the world.

So in a lot of countries, the “Mossad” has really become a code word for any filthy individual or organization that spies on our sex lives, that spies on our bank accounts, or that reads into our real beliefs about certain people or organizations.

Oddly enough, I could only speak for most Israelis, sex is a very open topic (not the details of it, but people will let you know who their boyfriend or girlfriend is the minute they start dating) and finances is something we more or less openly discuss (we do tell a few lies about that one).

So here's a conversation in the Arab world, and the same conversation in Israel.

Arab world:

Person A: Dude, how much money do you make?

Person B: I don't know? Did you catch the soccer game...


Person B: I swear to God and hope to die if I'm telling you a lie, I don't have any money.


Person B: They paid some people, and not others.


Person B: Why, do you want my money?

Person C: Dude, do you have a girlfriend?

Person D: Fuck them all!

Person C: Any intentions to get married?

Person D: Only if she fucks right!

Now to Israel

Person A: How much you make?

Person B: 10,000

Person A: Any bonuses?

Person B: Severance, year-end bonus, occasional scraps for “performance.”

Person C: Do you have a girlfriend?

Person D: Yes, her name is Tamar.

Person C: Where did you meet her?

Person D: We went to school together.

Person C: How's the relationship going?

Person D: I have the feeling things are getting serious. Who knows, I could be sending out wedding invitations at some point!

So who's being secretive here?

Final question: I mean Jews are secretive about their beliefs. You know that they control the world and own all the banks and control all the governments and that all the world's presidents are either Jews or puppets.

I find your notion of power very strange. On the one hand, you have this firmly held belief that Allah (or God) rules the universe and decides everything. So if Allah loves the Muslims (or Christians) so much, why would Allah decide to make the Jews rule over them? I don't get your logic...

The governments and banks tend to be controlled by loose coalitions, and people come in and get out of there. There are some Jews, many are not Jewish, many are Arabs and Muslims in fact. Some guys know what they're doing, others have no idea what they're doing.

Which brings to the misguided belief and notion that Jews have some sort of complex of superiority or that they always want to be on top of the hierarchy.

It just so happens that many people, once they are familiar with the system, want to join the elites. But many Jews, in fact 99% Jews are not part of the elites. And yes, there are Jews who survive on food stamps, and lots of them!

Now to be clear, anti-Semites often have little or no idea what they're talking about. I once had a chat with a Muslim who told me “people from Arab states are not allowed to contact Mark Zuckerberg because he's an Israeli.” I told that Arab “friend” we could send Mark a message right now. Not sure Mark would reply, but I'm sure he would get the message. That, among many other urban legends.

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