This is the soundtrack of my heart, of my life if you care to listen. If there is anyone out there who cares to listen. I am the girl you never phone. You never think of me. Was that too much to ask. I never hear your phone voice. Here I am breaking it down for you. With my usual honesty. I am trying to break through to you.

I am standing desperate on the shore. I am drowning in the sea again. I am coming up for air again. There is no stopping my plans. That's the house I grew up in. That is my mother. That is my father. And those are all my reasons. This is hard. Do you still accept me, is what I want to know. I want to tell you everything. Everything will always come back to you, you see.

And those are all my reasons. Do you accept my sadness? Do you accept my happiness? You still make me nervous. You still give me butterflies. Look, the stars are falling. You are all my reasons for this pantomime, for me being the girl with the broken smile, for being sad. This is my mother. Are you pleased to meet me, mother. Don't be ashamed to cry, dad.

I think I have lost all self-control now. That nothing is left here for anyone to love. There is always a spark, electricity and chemistry like a light in the dark. All I want to say is this. Stay. Never let me go. Please don't leave, but you're already gone. I am always falling in love. Falling so hard for the guy. Falling so fast for the man in the photograph, on the radio, everywhere but here. I think of the stars. Their magic and chemistry. Their flicker.

Maybe I am just not enough. I am running. You love who you love when you are falling hard, or, slow, or, fast. Maybe I am just not enough. I am running just like the wind in the branches of my trees. Dad, mum, all I wanted was your love. Why was it so impossible for you tove me, why was it so impossible for you to love, for you to care. For you to show that you loved each other. Can we play that family portrait again, can we play pretend.

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Abigail George has two books in the Ovi Bookshelves,
"All about my mother" & "Brother Wolf and Sister Wren"
Download them, NOW for FREE HERE!