(for Staff Sergeant Joseph William George)

Most people live in between the married and the
single life. I want death. I want life. I want my life
to be celebrated in death. I just expected you to
say something else. I am life. I am death. I am a
solitary figure, staggering to reach you if you’d let
me. You don’t call me on the telephone, and even
though it is raining men I don’t admit addiction.
I want to be free, and that is all a single woman wants
is to be free, independent, acknowledged, loved,
but it is impossible for you to love the public me,
all the administration of me, my cruel and cool
and bewitching persona. I’d probably love you, if
you’d let me. I dream of a dream house of love, a
family and children, and I’d dream I’d be a wife, and
a lover, and mother, that’s what I’ve dreamed since
childhood. You’re perfect, and I’m imperfect,
and you’re lovely, but my approach is a family affair.

I’m a scorekeeper, but unloved. You keep all your
passion for your girlfriend like when you eat her meat, and
sink your teeth into her cooking, and her heart,
and bare wrists, and ankles, and dark hair, and her
all positive, positively-loving, her positive-outlook
on life, I say I’ll take you there, but you don’t care
because you have it made with your it-girl, feeling-
girl, and she makes eye-contact with your mother
when you say my name in their presence, and they
roll their eyes heavenward, and I’m a joke. I get that.
I understand that. That you’re not mine anymore.
You’re too comfortable, and I’m an emotional slob.
I don’t want to drag you down. I want to uplift you.
I’m too late, that’s all. And filled with half-truths
and dark thoughts of cave-dwellings, but you
know me better than I know myself. That suicide
is on my mind again, that I’m lovesick, and after you
to save me. The atmosphere here is of a wedding.

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Abigail George has two books in the Ovi Bookshelves,
"All about my mother" & "Brother Wolf and Sister Wren"
Download them, NOW for FREE HERE!