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Dating Korean men and women
by Joseph Gatt
2018-12-06 09:58:06
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Every man and woman is an entire world to itself. But here are some generalizations on dating Korean men and women.

Dating Korean women

-Korean women are extremely status conscious and have very strict criteria when dating other men. How much money they make, what kind of property they have, their family background, what status one has on his job all matter a very great deal to her. Even when you seem to have everything, she will hesitate a great deal before dating you. Her heart might say yes, but her mind might say no.

kor01-Don't think a Korean woman is hitting on you just because she repeatedly calls you “handsome.” Korean women will tell almost every man that they are “handsome.” She might also say things like “I love you” or “you are the best” or other very sweet comments. Those are just signs of friendship. She might also overuse hearts and other affection symbols in text messages. If she's in love with you, she will probably be so shy she probably won't even text or call you, and will pretend not to notice you.

-Korean girls are very shy and hesitant about their feelings. She might reject you several times if you suggest you two should date. She will play a game of hide and seek where she will refuse to pick up your phone calls, only to call you days or months later to invite you to an event. If you really want to read her mind, check her social media accounts for any hints. The hints can be very subtle and almost read like a riddle or a code. If you find no hints, or find her on social media with other men, she's probably not interested.

-A survey indicated that 30% Korean women enjoy casual sex. If she's too forward about dating you and going to your place, that could indicate that she's just looking for casual sex. If she likes the experience she could repeat it a few times, leading you to think that you two are dating. She will then “ghost” you and make sure you never contact her again. Many Korean women believe sex and love and marriage are distinct things.

-Once you start dating, she will become extremely status conscious. She will gradually suggest you get a better job, a promotion, a pay raise, a better house, and that you go up the social ladder. Dressing well is extremely important, many friendship meetings will in fact be business meetings and she will ask you to wear your best suit. She will also ask you to give the best possible appearance, even if it means a lot of lying. Be careful to keep your table manners at all times, and to be respectful at all times.

-Being extremely status conscious, your behavior will reflect her reputation at all times. She might refuse that you meet certain people, go to certain places or go to certain events. She will be very persistent about refusing, simply because one or two people present at the event might spoil her reputation by observing you and talking about you behind her back.

-Her parents are gods. Her supervisors at work are gods. Her family are gods. They might not get along very well, but she will do everything she can to please them. That includes giving significant amounts of money, lavish gifts, and being present at all major events.

-She will side with the powerful. If you have a dispute with your boss, someone powerful, or the authorities, she might side with them. Just because you are her boyfriend or husband, doesn't mean she will side with you.

-She will quietly work on her projects. She might surprise you by moving to a different location, starting a new job or starting a business, when she never hinted at such ventures.

-She will want to control your money and spending. Most Korean wives give their husband an allowance and spend the rest. Many companies pay men portions of their salary in cash so they can spend some of it. Other men resort to gambling, because their wives won't give them significant allowances.

-She will spend hours yelling at you if she has a bad day or her reputation was spoiled because of you.

-Finally, she will be dedicated to her job. She will come home and study skills that she needs to perfect for her job. She will spend weekends going to schools learning new skills for her job. She won't try hard to have an active couple life.

Dating Korean men

-Korean men can be very scary when they fall in love. They will show up to your workplace. They will call you and you will find 50 missed calls. They will refuse to hang up and want to drag the conversation on the phone for hours. They will show up at your house with a ton of food and stay, then follow you to work the next day. And they will not take no for an answer. The only way to scare them off is to call the police, or ask a bodyguard to look over you. Whatever you do don't tell them “maybe” or “I’ll consider it” or “give me a couple of months and we'll date.” Have a group of guy friends handle the situation diplomatically. As crimes of passion are common, you might want to disappear completely from the scene, quit your job and start a new life somewhere else.

-However, changing the topic, if you want to date a Korean guy, you'll find things relatively easy. If they are single, there's a big chance they might say yes.

-Their mother might strongly oppose the relationship. Unless your father is the CEO of a major company, their mothers will tend to think their sons deserve better, especially if they are an only son.

-If you are dating an elder son, you will be expected to be very close to his mother. His mother will boss you around, and you won't be allowed to complain.

-They will be stuck at work a lot of times. You won't see your Korean boyfriend that much.

-If you say “no” to something, they will tend not to insist. So if you want to do something, don't play hard to get, and say “yes.”

-They will lead a life independent from yours and will leave you with their mother. At times, you might wonder if it's really him that you have married, or his mother.

-They won't tell you about their problems. You could find out they got fired from their job months, in some cases years after that happens.

-They will disappear in the face of financial strife. They won't sit down with you and suggest both of you come up with solutions for financial problems. They will feel so guilty they will just disappear.

-Most Korean men avoid conflicts with their girlfriends or wives at all costs. Some do behave violently, but most men lock themselves up in their room when there's the possibility of a conflict.

-Most men are very lazy at home and expect you to do everything. You have to cook and clean. And they might complain about the quality of your food.

-Finally, most Korean men are good problem solvers if you ask. If you're stuck in a situation that can be solved, they will quickly solve it. However if you have problems with his mother, he will take sides with his mother.

Cultural notes on dating Korean men and women

-Koreans do not dislike authoritarianism, even when it is excessive. Don't complain about your boss or elder people being authoritarian, having flashes of emotion, yelling at you or bossing you around. Koreans tend to believe such behavior is normal.

-Koreans believe that your behavior reflects their reputation. Korean society can be extremely judgmental. Be best when you go out or act with the public. Be respectful, eat most of the food you will be served, don't drink too much, or if you drink too much don't let that affect your behavior.

-Koreans view directness as a sign of weakness. Expect a lot of hints from your boyfriend or girlfriend, some of which belong to horror movies. They might leave a note on a sheet of paper with signs in bold black ink that say “HAIR CUT” rather than simply suggest that you go get a haircut. Some can be more scary, such as leaving a kitchen knife on your bed.

-Koreans don't easily forgive. One wrong step and your relationship could turn very cold.

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