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The MAGA Mad Capper
by Leah Sellers
2018-11-23 10:49:37
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“Ethel Lou, why in the world are you wearing a face mask, and your ‘ole red MAGA Cap while you’re raking up the leaves in your front yard ?” Rose Anne asked as she crossed the street toward her friend’s home.

“Are you allergic to leaf mold ? You should get the kids to rake up the leaves for you,” Rose Anne suggested.

“You know me, I never rake up the leaves in my yard, because I see them as Nature’s Compost.”
Ethel Lou smiled knowingly at Rose Anne saying, “I am well aware of your Naturalistic reasons for your wild and wooly yard, Rose Anne. But I am upset this morning, and have come out to try and calm my angry thoughts by doing something Useful and Patriotic”

“What angry Thoughts, Ethel Lou ? And your idea of useful and mine are a bit different, anyways,” Rose Anne teased. “And I suppose your red MAGA Cap makes you feel Patriotic ?”

mag0001_400“Well, it helps. It reminds me of why I voted for Donald Trump in the first place,” Ethel Lou muffled through her face mask.

“But I’m wearing this dad-gummed face mask, because Trump told all of America to start Raking all around their Homes, and into the Forests, and Wilderness areas. Rake, Rake, Rake America Clean, so She won’t catch Fire like California has Seen.”

“California is a part of America, Ethel Lou,” Rose Anne joked.

“If you say so, but you know what I mean,” Ethel Lou said lightly.

“Well, I’m still working on that, Ethel Lou. But what about that Face mask you’re wearing ? Did ’ole Trumpty tell everybody to wear one of those as well ?” Rose Anne asked sarcastically.

“No, no. Of course not. The T.V. News Doctors are saying that the California Fires are putting poisonous and polluting Particulates in the air that are drifting near and far everywhere. And I don’t want any strange Particulates dis-easing this ’ole Body of mine, while I’m working outside.” Ethel Lou explained.

“I’m no Spring Chicken anymore, Rose Anne. I’m more like a tough, pleasingly plump old hen. I go to the Doctor when I’m sick. I keep all of my fluids up, change my oil when I have to, and flush out my exhaust pipes every now and then. I keep my ’ole Engine running as best I can,” Ethel Lou continued.

“I swear, Ethel Lou, ever since Hank took that side job helping Bill out in his Mechanic’s Shop, you sound more and more like a Mechanic, yourself,” Rose Anne laughed.

“Ha !” Ethel Lou chirped. “Now, if I only had Hank’s Mechanical Skills, I’d have it made in the shade.”

“Ethel Lou,, what are you upset about this morning ? Did you and Hank get into a tangle ?” Rose Anne asked frankly.

“No, Hank and I are fine. I was listening to the News this morning while cleaning up in the kitchen, and heard a few things that got my dander up,” Ethel Lou admitted.

“I was listening to the News while doing a bit of house-cleaning myself, Ethel Lou. Are you talking about Trumpty’s latest Autocratically Dictatorial Debacle ?” Rose Anne asked sardonically. “They just keep pouring out of the White House these days.”

“Rose Anne, that man is our President, and you should call him by his proper name.”

“And what would that be ? The Dangerous Apprentice ? The Blowhard Ignoramus of the World ? The Wanna-be Gangster King ?” Rose Anne asked lightly.

“There you go again, Rose Anne. Being dis-respectful of our Great Nation’s King….I mean, President.” Ethel Lou corrected.

“Ah-ha, is that a Freudian Slip I hear ? I did not vote for that Imbecile of a man. You did. I voted for Hillary,” Rose Anne said proudly.

“I voted for Trump, because he is not a Politician. He’s a successful Business Celebrity. I wanted him to shake Washington D.C.’s Swamplands up,” Ethel Lou said defensively.

“Oh, he’s given the Country The Business alright, Ethel Lou. He’s expanded and deepened the Swamp and its Swamp Creatures. He’s a Flim-Flamming Con Man who is way out of his league. He is an Amoral, vindictive Sociopath ! He has no Business being President. He’s not equipped for the job. A Good President must have Values and Honor Law and Order. The whole World counts on America to stand for High Ideals, and for Basic Human Rights. Trumpty-Dumpty does not, and does not care about learning anything new that does not Benefit his present and future Coffers,” Rose Anne fussed.

“Trump is not a Patriot. He is a Capitalist. A Transactional Capitalist. A Malevolent Capitalist. And America must find a way to right herself, and re-acquaint HerSelf with Her Moral Compass. America, and the rest of the World are Lost without it.” Rose Anne said insistently.

“Rose Anne, did you walk across the street just to upset me further ?”

“No, Ethel Lou, I was concerned about you. Just came out to check on you raking with that contraption covering your face.”

“Ethel Lou, we do live in Texas, you know. Do you really think that those dastardly Particulates from the California Fires are gonna’ reach us all the way here ?”

“You just never know about invisible, dis-easing things like that, Rose Anne. It’s best to be on the side of Caution regarding dis-easing, invisible, floaty things. Don’t you think so ?”

Rose Anne swallowed hard, and said, “If you say so, Ethel Lou.”

“Anyways, I never understood why you voted for Hillary in the first place. Her husband was a Cheat, and she stood by him, and against that young intern he tainted with his Abuse of a Powerful Man.”

“As though Trumpty-Dumpty doesn’t know about Cheating on his wives and Abuse of Power,” Rose Anne quipped.

“And, of course, Hillary deserves to be pillaried for deciding to strive and hold her Life, her Family and Country together the best she could during that horrible mess created by her Cheating Husband - not her. How typical for the Woman to have to Pay the Price for her Man,” Rose Anne said sarcastically.

“Is that what you’re implying, Ethel Lou ? Was that Hillary’s Great Sin ? That she worked hard to try and Protect what she had helped to Build throughout her Lifetime ?” Rose Anne asked pointedly.

“Hillary won the Popular Vote by around three million more votes than ‘ole Trumpty-Dumpty. That Immoral Con Man became President through playing a Numbers Casino Game in the Electoral College, and he’s had a lot of experience with Numbers Games in Casinos. He played on all of the Negativity within the Dark Heart of Humanity everywhere. Not on what’s Best and Brightest within all of Humanity.”

“So, when I see a MAGA Cap, I don’t see what’s Best about America. I see what’s worst, and dark and to be feared, and redirected in more Positive Directions within America. I see Folks giving into Fear and Hate Patterns of Thought and Behaviors that are all Democracy and Freedom Killers.”

“I am tired of you always defending Hillary, Rose Anne. That woman broke the Law with her Private Emails, and all of that texting and deleting, and whatever else Trump was hollering about at his Campaign Ralies that kept everybody yelling “Lock Her Up !” with such gusto !”

“What a thrill that Rally was that Hank and I attended. Even you and Randy would have enjoyed the party atmosphere and camaraderie there,” Ethel Lou mused.

“I don’t think so, Ethel Lou. Sounds more like a Lynch Mob to me,” Rose Anne quipped.

“And ‘ole Trumpty-Dumpty set about trying to hang Hillary Clinton and James Comey after he got into office, as promised at his infamous Rallies. He Abused his Power and tried to force his White House lawyer, Mr. McGahn to order the Department of Justice to prosecute the both of them just like some old Banana Republic - some old Mad Capper Republic. But McGahn talked him out of it for a while by warning him about it’s being Abuse of Presidential Power to mess with the DOJ, which is supposed to be separate and apart from Trumpty-Dumpty’s Will Be Done.”

“And Trumpty Dumpty is making all of this fuss and noise while his very own daughter, Ivankha, is mis-using her Private Email, while working for the Public of America in the Trumpty’s Kleptocratic and Monastic Kingdom on the Hill, and Mired-in-Sludgo’s Winter Palace.

“And while Trumpty-Dumpty is announcing to the World that it’s alright for that Saudi Prince to cold-bloodedly murder a Journalist working for the Washington Post in their very own embassy building in Turkey, when he was sent there to get marriage papers, and the Prince had his men torture Mr. Khashoggi, murder him, and saw his body to pieces and bury it somewhere, for desert scorpions and snakes to crawl all over,” Rose Anne said sympathetically.

“And Trumpty-Dumpty fired ‘ole Jeff Sessions, whose only truly good deed was to Recuse himself from anything to do with Russia and the Mueller Investigation, just so Trumpty could put his own Wimpy Lackey into the Attorney General’s Office,” Rose Anne added.

“Trumpty-Dumpty gave the job to his man Nit Whit-aker, and he hasn’t even been Confirmed by the Senate. And Nit Whit-aker, has the same Con Man and Ambition tendencies as his Petulant and Vindictive MAGA Mad Capper Leader, because he openly promoted a Company that Scammed folks out of their Life Savings, and never made good on their promises to the folks they took all of the money from for their supposed services.”

“This, this, Ethel Lou, is the UnLawful Dis-Order Trumpty is continuing to Dumpty all over America and the World !” Rose Anne exclaimed with a flourish of her hands.

“Rose Anne, did you get your News from Trump’s News Station, FOX
News ?”

“No, Ethel Lou, I did not. I get my News from four different Sources. Not that Trump and Bannon Nationalist Propaganda Station.”

“Well, if it’s not information from FOX News, then it’s Fake News, Rose Anne.”

“And what about Nancy Pelosi, Rose Anne ? Did Trump want to jail her,
too ? She a certainly a fly in his ointment as well, as far as I can tell.”

“Now, don’t you go picking on Nancy, Ethel Lou,” Rose Anne warned.

“Nancy Pelosi is a fine, upstanding Lady who knows How to Get the Job
Done ! She’s a Firebrand of Democratic Ideals ! She is a true Progressive Woman ! She has always fought for Equality for All.”

“Nancy got the Affordable Care Act through, alongside some other tough Bills, despite the Republican fight to kill it.”

“Nancy knows how to pull Folks together, and how to get the Republicans in line during troubling times. She knows How to Get the Right Things Done in Congress. Nancy will make a wonderful Mentor for all of the young, whipper-snapper Firebrands joining the Congressional Ranks, that want to get some important Changes Made that will improve EveryOne‘s Lives, not just the Lives of a Few,” Rose Anne said confidently.
Ethel Lou gave Rose Anne a half-grin and said, “Well alright. Don’t get so riled up, Rose Anne. She’s just a Politician.”

“She’s not just another Politician, Ethel Lou. Nancy Pelosi is a Congressional Icon !” Rose Anne

“If you say so, Rose Anne,” Ethel Lou said with an obvious yawn behind her mask.

“You know, Rose Anne, I can see your side concerning that terrible Khashoggi murder. I don’t think that we should be doing Business with the Saudis right now. We need to find some ways to let them know that America stands against Leaders murdering Journalists and their own People. But I am against Murder altogether. I don’t care if it’s the Murder of One Man or a Million People by an out of control Leader. It should never be tolerated. Never tolerated anywhere. We are losing our Moral Standing in the World, Ethel Lou, and amongst OurSelves. Trump is saying that the Saudi Money is more important than a Human Being’s Life. That’s one of the reasons I’m so upset, and out here doing my Patriotic Duty raking up leaves to avoid Wild Fires. I sometimes feel like Trump and his People are lighting Wild Fires all over the World. It’s very Dis-Heartening I‘m trying to remember that high Hank and I got from that Trump Rally we attended. Being a Trumper was so much fun then.” Ethel Lou said sadly and longlingly.

“You gotta’ extra rake in the garage ? I’ll help with your leaves until Randy gets home. But I’m not gonna’ wear any ridiculous face mask, Ethel Lou. Particulates or no particulates.”

“There sure is. Just inside the door to the left,” Ethel Lou said gratefully. “ That’s a direction your pretty familiar with, ha ! I could sure use the help and the company before Hank and the kids get home for supper.”
Suddenly removing her damp and over-used face mask from her head, Ethel Lou took a deep breath and smiling broadly said, “I’m not that particular about California Particulates, anyway. Our Texas Trade Winds will probably pick them up and blow them further South as it is.”

“Not if the MAGA Mad Capper, and his Separation of Immigrant Families and new Re-Tread of NAFTA, by any other name, have anything to do with it, they won’t,” Ethel Lou mumbled as she headed toward the garage to grab a rake.

“What was that, Rose Anne ?”

“I was just saying that I normally don’t rake leaves unless I really HAFTA’” Rose Anne fibbed and grinned as she disappeared behind the garage door.


Check Leah Seller's EBOOK
A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
You can download it for FREE HERE!

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