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Trumpian Rah-Rah Rallies And Golf Course Rants
by Leah Sellers
2018-09-26 07:49:01
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On an imagined Golf Course somewhere around Washington D.C……

“Get my Caddy to kick my ball up and out of that Sand Pit when nobody else is lookin’, would ya’ Don Jr. ?
Now, where was I ? Oh yeah, I swear, what’s wrong with these jerkin’ ingrates ? Three thousand brown people did not die in Puerto Rico because of that Hurricane Maria ! Fake News !

golfin01_400My enemies made those numbers up ! It was sixteen I tell ya’ ! The governor of Puerto Rico even said so, no matter what that mouthy Puerto Rican Female Mayor has to say about it !

Well, maybe it was sixty-one dead brown bodies, but not three thousand ! They’re all just tryin’ to smear me, and make me look incontinent…..I mean incompetent ! Fake News !

And that Low I.Q. Black CongressWoman, who’s really a pretty sharp cookie, and that Tom Steyer keep yellin’ Impeach Him ! And by Him, I mean Me ! We gotta’ do something’ about her and him ! Find some way to undermine ‘em, and Others like ’em ! Fake News !

And Manfort and Cohen, those Slime Balls ! Those Dirty rattin’ Rats, are gettin’ ready to spill the beans on Me about everything ! Every little underhanded and made legal and illegal business deal I’ve ever done with American Fat Cats like myself, the American Mafioso, and the Russian Oligarchs and their Mafioso !

We gotta’ find a way to fire those Boy Scouts, Mueller and Rosenstein, and that Recused Traitor and fellow Bigot, Sessions, and turn them into Fake News and Yesterday’s News !

“I’m a BusinessMan ! BusinessMen are supposed to Make Money, not turn it down or let Scruples get in the way of grabbin’ at it ! And if the Money’s Made Legal or Illegal you can hide it from Taxes and Oglin’ Eyes, and all of that kind of stuff, that can make a BusinessMan’s life, like mine, miserable !

And what’s up with that Black Chick tennis player, Serena’s, yellin’ at that Brown Umpire ?! Just who does she think she is ?! She’s Black and He’s Brown, and He’s the Umpire ! She’s darker and He’s lighter ! She just makes millions bouncing’ balls around the tennis court. He’s the Umpire ! He’s like the President of the court ! What he says goes !

Just who does She think she is ?! She’s tryin’ to tear down the World Order, that’s what ! Women don’t yell at Men and try to put them in their Place ! Men yell at Women to keep them in their Place !

By the way, Who won that match anyways ?

And I am sick to death of Obama gettin’ all of the credit for the good economy I moved in on ! It gets in the way of my takin’ credit for it ! We gotta’ shut that down as Fake News, too !

And all of these Bleedin’ Heart Idiots who keep breakin’ my golf balls over all of the brown babies and children separated from their parents illegally crossin’ my Border, many of ‘em because they couldn’t get their dysfunctional governments to give ‘em the official papers they needed to make the jump with to begin with, have got to stop their caterwaulin’ !

They’re really makin’ me look like a Heartless Jerk, which I really am, but I can’t afford for the rest of America and the World to see me that way !

That’s bad Publicity ! Bad Branding ! Gotta’ spin it into Fake News ! Get our Right-wing Fanatics and Neo-Nazi Bloggers on it right away !

And that Cambridge Analytica group that passed on that info to the Russians, and their Targeted Bots, that helped me win the Electoral College’s Numbers Racket, we gotta’ shut ’em down, before the Free Press that I call Fake News connects them to Jared. I don’t want Ivanka muddied in any way ! They gotta’ be ki-boshed , and it’s gotta’ look legit !

And now I gotta’ worry about Russia and China ! Because of my terrific and faultless Foreign Policy and Economic Trade moves, Russia and China are havin’ MIlitary Exercises together like real chums, just to spite me. Just to make me look like a Chump !

And I can’t even get my people to give me a Military Parade to glorify and magnify my Magnificence ! What’s that all about ?!

And South Korea is gettin’ all Chummy-chum-chum with China now, because I have proven to be an UnReliable Ally !

Well, what did they expect ?! I’m the all time Transactional BusinessMan !

The Corporate Mogul with all the moves and grooves, usin’ the American Presidency, and the American People’s mo-ney, mo-ney mo-ney to grow my Capital (not the Federal Government’s Capitol) for me and mine to enjoy and make even more out of when I leave this stinkin’ job !

And I get no kudos for any of it from anyone but my Rallyin’ Sycophants and MAGA hat and t-shirt screamin’ Fans !

The Republican Congressmen are just keepin’ their mouths shut so that they can get their Con-servative agenda and their man Kavanaugh through the Supreme Court’s gate. The’re just puttin’ up with me, no matter how much damage I do to America ! I got ’em wrapped around my little stinkin’, fungus riddled toe !

Fella’s, I gotta’ get out of this White House for awhile ! Schedule me a bunch more Rallies, would ya’ ?! And make sure that they’re near as many of my Golf Courses as they can be along the way !

Don Jr, tell the Caddy to kick my ball into the Hole on the sly, would ya‘, I’ve tried to get that thing in the Hole five times now, and I’m ready to move on.

I tell you fella’s, this runnin’ the government thing is just exhaustin’ ! It’s a headache ! I’ve never worked this hard in my life ! I gotta’ get out of here and get a fresh perspective on things with the Rallyin’ Rah-Rah’s and Ya-Ya’s who will Cheer and Pump My Ego Up !

That’s right I need a Pump Me Up Rally, fella’s ! And that’s time and money well spent ! Get to it ! Your President, and that’s me last time I checked, has spoken !”


Check Leah Seller's EBOOK
A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
You can download it for FREE HERE!


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