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Extra Terrestrial Poop Circles ?
by Leah Sellers
2018-07-13 05:02:07
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Charlotte was putting the finishing touches on Ms. Nancy’s braided bun. “Do you want me to turn-on FOX News for you, Ms. Nancy ?”

“No, honey, I don’t watch FOX News anymore. It’s Trumpty’s Propaganda Machine. They all worship their less-than-mighty-King, and all of his cock-eyed evildoings,” Ms. Nancy said as she inspected Charlotte’s work on her silver-white plait.

etpo001_400“Your Mama taught you well, Charlotte,” Ms. Nancy smiled gratefully.

“Yes ma’am, she did, Ms. Nancy,” Charlotte agreed proudly. “And my Sisters and I used to braid one another’s hair growing up, too. We‘d laugh and cut-up and have a grand ‘ole time.”

“Is there another News station you’d like to watch, Ms. Nancy,” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, there is, Charlotte,” Ms. Nancy answered assuredly, “I have been perusing CNN and MSNBC as of late. You know, those stations that Trumpty says are an Enemy of the People and Fake News. When in all actuality it is FOX News that is the Enemy of all Americans and the dangerously Fakest of Fake News. The other two stations appear to be as Real News as you can Possibly Get It In Today’s Crazy News World.”

“Ha ! If you say so, Ms. Nancy,” Charlotte said agreeably.

“Yes, I do say so, and I never thought that I would say so,” Ms. Nancy said sadly. “My, my, how the World has changed.”

“But there is some Good News to be had. The White House finally got pressured into no longer ignoring the Criminality of that horrible Scott Pruitt Swamp Thing. That Crook. That Thief. That Scalawag !” Ms. Nancy declared.

“Trumpty and all of his Millionaire, Billionaire, Trillionaire Gang-a-lang Members, Thug-a-lugs and shrimpy Pimps !”

“Excuse me, Ms. Nancy, I’ve never heard you use language like that before,” Charlotte said genuinely surprised.

“Oh, Charlotte, I hold back on much of the bad language I’d like to use from time to time, because I know it would offend you, It’s not the way you were raised to speak.”

“Well, it‘s not the way I was raised to speak either, Truth-Be-Told, but my Tom came back from WWII cussing mad, and I loosed my own tongue a bit because of it,” Ms. Nancy admitted.

“He was a Good Man. A Fine Man, but the War changed some things inside of him. And his cussing up a lightning streak every now and then was one of those changes.”

“Tom would be so disappointed at the rate these Autocratic, Fascist movements are taking root all over the World,” Ms. Nancy said shaking her head from side-to-side. “What has America done to Herself ?”

“Did you hear about that Giant Balloon Baby of Trumpty holding a Tweety Phone in his hand ? The phone is probably his Baby Pacifier, tee-hee.”

“It appears that some Activists and Artists are putting it up in the air for Trumpty to gander at in London, England, while he’s talking Wild Turkey about Trade and NATO and other such important things that he’s throwing a monkey-wrench into.”

“Yes Ma’am. Read about it in the News. It’s certainly an eye-full alright,” Charlotte smiled.

“I’m proud of our Friends across the Frog Pond,” Ms. Nancy said firmly. “The Trumpty Baby Balloon is a fine display of a little Tit-for-Trade-War-Tat !”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And this last Campaign Rally Trumpty held up in Montana where he called Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas again, and said that she needed to have a DNA Test thrown at her, and Me Too. And he doesn’t even know Me !”

“I don’t remember ever meeting a Trumpty. Oh, I’ve encountered sleazy Con Men like him before. But, then again, my Memory, especially when it comes to History, is not what it used to be.”

“Any ways, this Fake President of ours that is always spewing out Fake News to serve his promotional and heavily promoted Fake and Dangerous-to Everyone-else-Around-Him-World Reality, is very fond of throwing DNA Kits around, because he’s having his ICE and HHS folks use them now on all of the Children they kidnapped from their Parents, just because they are Immigrants looking for a Promised Land.”

“It appears that Trumpty’s Officials did not keep track of Who Belonged to Whom, and so now Americans are having to cough up millions of wasted dollars on all of these DNA Kits, and Internment Camps filled with Cages and Tents to hold all of these Poor, Lost, Frightened People who were seeking America’s Help, not her Harm.”

“Guess Trumpty’s minions don’t know that Karma can be a very harsh and difficult Task Master. And She’s got a very long Memory that never Forgets. She just Ripples along in Time and waits her Moment to Teach a Life’s Lesson.”

“Anyways, Charlotte, none of it makes any Sense to Me, Too or anybody else for that matter,” Ms. Nancy said flatly.

“Everything Trumpty does feels Crazy and Selfishly Cruel To Me, like Alice in her Not-So-Wonderful-Wonderland must have felt. In a Time and Place where Big is small and small is Big, and Enemies are Friends and Friends are Enemies, and folks lose their Heads if they don’t Play some Silly Game just the way some hideous Queen or King wants It to be Played.”

“So, a Silly Game is made to be Something very Serious for AnyOne who finds ThemSelves Playing it, and the Winner can Only be the hideous and crazy Queen or King or it‘s Off With their Heads !”

“Trumpty’s UnReality-Reality World feels so much like Alice’s, and it was a wonder that she escaped its grasp intact and with her Life,” Ms. Nancy mused.

Ms. Nancy looked outside one of her front windows and said,” “Oh Charlotte, the Female MailMan has finally arrived. I want to go out with you right now to get the mail, because I have something very strange and mysterious to show you.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Charlotte said as she quickly retrieved Ms. Nancy’s rolling walker, and they both headed out the front door together one careful step at a time.
Ms. Nancy Lewis pointed at the ground beneath one of her large oak trees.
“Look here, Charlotte. Look at this very strange looking Poop,” Ms. Nancy paused and grinned playfully at Charlotte. “And I am only using the word ‘Poop’ so as not to offend your sensitive ears, dear one.”
Charlotte chuckled and said, “Thank you, Ms. Nancy. I appreciate your courtesy.”

“Well, as I was saying, do you see how this very strange looking Poop is very mysteriously spiraling into an ever widening Circle, right under this tree ?”

“Charlotte, I have been seeing some very strange and mysterious Lights every night out here for over a week, now. Do you think this is an Extra Terrestrial Poop Circle ?”

“You mean like an Extra Terrestrial Crop Circle ?” Charlotte asked automatically.

“No, there are no Crops planted here. So, it must be an Extra Terrestrial Poop Circle. Surely, Extra Terrestrials must have to eliminate their body wastes as we Humans do.”

“So, since they appear to do their other business in decorative Spiraling Circles, it would make some strange sort of Sense that they must Poop in Spiraling Circles, as well. Perhaps it has something to do with their bodies differing Extra Terrestrial gravitational pull ? Perhaps their Pull is a Push or their Push is a Pull ?” Ms. Nancy surmised.

“Perhaps we should Go Ask, Alice,” Charlotte said as she stifled her laughter with extreme difficulty.

“Exactly !” Ms. Nancy said affirmatively.

“Well, Ms. Nancy, as you know, I’m just an ‘ole Country girl, but I have seen Poop and Hoof Patterns just like this before when hunting in the woods with my Uncles and Cousins.”

“It is more likely that this was a group of Mother Deer who recently bore some new fawns that they had gathered right here in this spot to rest, while the Mama Deer all had a bite to eat.”

“The weird looking Poop is soft Fawn Poop. And, see here, further away, this is more solid, Adult Deer Droppings,” Charlotte explained evenly.”

“The Little Ones were probably a bit restless before they laid down to get some rest, while their Mamas nibbled on the grass and greenery around here. That would account for the Circular, Spiraling Pattern of the Babies Poop. And look at all of the small Hoof Prints in the ground here. The larger Adult Hoof Prints are further out.”

Ms. Nancy nodded her head and said, “That would explain all of missing Rose Heads.”

“Yes Ma’am, the Deer decided that it was time for them all to be ‘Off With Their Heads‘,” Charlotte chuckled.

“And, Ms. Nancy, as for the strange and mysterious Lights you have been seeing as of late, I sure wish that you had said something to me sooner,” Charlotte said seriously.

“I bumped into your neighbor, Mr. Larry, last week, and he was bragging on a New Hat he had just bought, because that old Safari Hat he normally sports around on his Walks and while he’s Playing Golf was too loose on his noggin to handle his strapped on Led-Light-Head-Light,” Charlotte revealed.

“Mr. Larry said that his old Safari Hat wobbled every-which-a-ways when he put his Head-Light on it,” Charlotte further explained.

“It appears Mr. Larry had taken up Jogging at night on his Walking Machine at home. You know, the one he has in that glassed-in back porch room they added on a couple of years ago.”

“His wife complained about any of the House Lights being on in the House when she was trying to sleep. She said that it disturbed her sleep, and disturbed her two Poodles, Holly and Dolly, and that she didn’t like having to get up in the middle of the night to stop the dogs racket-making just because Mr. Larry wanted to Jog.”

“The strange and mysterious Lights you saw bouncing and bobbing around in all directions, Ms. Charlotte, were made by Mr. Larry’s Head Light while he was Jogging up and down on that contraption of his,” Charlotte grinned.

Ms. Nancy chuffed, “Well, Larry certainly gave me a fright. I thought that I had Extra Terrestrials running around all over my place late at night.”

“Well, I must admit that it is somewhat comforting to know that those are not Extra Terrestrial Poop Circles,” Ms. Nancy sighed. Looking up she said, “Let’s go on down the hill and greet our Female MailMan, and fetch the mail, shall we ? That at least will help me feel somewhat more normalized.”

Stifling another laugh, Charlotte grinned and said, “Yes Ma’am. And the Female MailMan’s name is Carol, Ms. Nancy.”

“Too bad about the Extra Terrestrials though. I was building up the courage to Ask them to take Trumpty and some of the World’s other asinine Autocrats with them when they left Earth.”
Charlotte laughed outright as Ms, Nancy gave her a knowing grin, wink-’n-blink, and a nod.

“In fact, Charlotte, you mark my words, this disappointment of mine is going to belong to the whole World before long, because the primitive and ancient Freedom and Justice killing Auto-craptic Poop is already hitting the Proverbial Fan.”

“Pardon my French, Charlotte, but I just could not help myself,” Ms. Nancy apologized with a sweet grin.

“Oh, I do, Ms. Nancy, Extra Terrestrial Poop Circles and all,” Charlotte said happily as she gave Ms. Nancy a brief hug before they started down the hill toward, Carol, the local Female MailMan.


Check Leah Seller's EBOOK
A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
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