‘You have a sadness about you.’

Somebody said that to me once
When I was young and brave.
‘And sadness in one as young as
You is frightening.’ Sadness and
Loneliness in an old woman is

Frightening too and sad. Sanctuary
Is found in a winter leaf. A portrait
In blues. My mother never told me
About boys. The long, slow, wet

    Kisses that were on their minds.
    Their arms around your waist at a

school dance. Hands caressing your back in circles.

I’m a swimmer. I’m a daughter.
My father is the summer dad.
My mother, the winter woman.
Ice running through her veins.
She’s sage and star and loved up.
She never taught me that boys
Were like magic. That I was Khoi.
Johannesburg was like an open
Book to me. I had reading hands.
Women there described men as magic.
I have disappeared under stars in
the middle of a winter in Johannesburg.

    I no longer need lithium.
    It nearly killed me to tell
    You the honest truth. There is dirt
under her (mum) fingernails as she works in the garden.

    I no longer need lithium.
    Haven’t I said that already?

    It is important for you to know that I no longer Need it to live and breathe and to gather my instinct to me.
    Where am I now and what is my reason for living?

    Once my lover’s hands felt like braille.
    His tender words were like tea leaves.
    Tea spilled from the cup I was drinking.
And then,
    I was a lovesick flesh and blood woman again.

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Abigail George has two books in the Ovi Bookshelves,
"All about my mother" & "Brother Wolf and Sister Wren"
Download them, NOW for FREE HERE!