Voting in state elections in Nigeria have been extended after many polling stations opened hours late, causing chaos and frustration for voters. Electoral chief Maurice Iwo assured Nigerians that "people who are already at the polling stations will be allowed to vote, no matter how late".

The government wants to make sure that their own people will be elected?

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Prince William has split from his girlfriend Kate Middleton. The couple had been under intense media pressure since they met at St Andrews University, Fife, in 2001.

What short of pressure? To get married? To be photographed? To ignore that 30,000 children die every day and we are wasting our time with a …prince?

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A member of Somalia's transitional government has accused Ethiopian troops in the capital Mogadishu of committing genocide since arriving in December.

Ethiopia calls it …liberation!!! Lost in translation!

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Cuban leader Fidel Castro is "almost totally recovered" from intestinal surgery last year, his ally Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said. The 80-year-old Cuban president had resumed a good part of his duties, Mr. Chavez told journalists in Caracas.

How much …recover? Can he move his lips? It’s called …mummified not recover!

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US students attending sexual abstinence classes are no more likely to abstain from sex than those who do not, according to a new study. Participants in special programmes were just as likely to have sex a few years later as those who did not attend. In the past few years of Republican Party control of Congress, the spending on no-sex-before-marriage education has risen from $10m to $176m a year.

This is an expensive …masturbation!

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Japan's lower house of parliament has approved guidelines to amend the country's post-war pacifist constitution for the first time. The bill now goes to the upper house and if passed, a referendum on changing the constitution to allow greater use of military force will be held.

The thin line between war and peace!

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Scientists say they have successfully made immature sperm cells from human bone marrow samples.

Who said Jurassic park was fiction?

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Investigators looking into a football match-fixing scandal in Italy have said they have evidence to charge 48 people, including eight match officials.

Play the …ball!

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The UN is stepping up efforts to end the deadlock over how to try those suspected of killing former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri.

Easy to break the deadlock, just call …Syria!!!

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The Israeli army says it has suspended a commander after the unit he led was accused of using Palestinians as human shields in a West Bank raid. Amateur video footage shot earlier this week showed Israeli soldiers apparently forcing Palestinians to stand in front of their armoured jeep.

He obviously misunderstood the orders …when they told him about the wall!!!

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The women's basketball team at the centre of a row over broadcaster Don Imus has accepted his apology for his use of racist language about them.

Why?

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Singer Madonna has denied reports that she is returning to Malawi to adopt a second African child. The US star sparked a furore when she adopted one-year-old David Banda from a Malawi orphanage last year.

Madonna I’m here, orphan and I could do with a billionaire mum!

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And don’t forget, doesn’t matter how they call them, Ovi-lehti or whatever else, Ovi magazine is one and only since 2004, the rest are just bad copycats!