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Pepe Alt-Right Hops into the White House
by Leah Sellers
2016-11-15 11:03:35
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“Hi, there !  Aren’t you Pepe Alt-Right ?”  the Young Aide asked excitedly.
“Ribbit !  Why, yes, that is what the new Trumpian Chief of Staff, Steve Bannon and his cohorts and cronies call me,”  Pepe Alt-Right croaked proudly.
steve01_400“Yes, I am the Mean Green Machine who pees yella’, and hops to the Right- to-the-Right-to-the-Right…., just as I have been made to do.  But I must have a Froggy chat with my Alt-Right Makers, because I find myself hoppin’ in Circles to the Right all day long nowadays.  It makes it very hard for a Frog to get anywhere, from here to there !  Ribbit !”  Pepe- Alt-Right complained and exclaimed.
“Yes, this always hoppin’ to the Right has this Frog goin’ around in Circles all day long.  I can’t get anything done, because I continue to meet myself comin’ and goin’.  I’m always gettin’ behind and bumpin’ into my behind, no matter how fast or high I hop to the Right,”  Pepe Alt-Right continued to grumble.
“A Frog has got to hop to the Left from time to time to have any sense of Balance to his hoppin’ around,”  Pepe Alt-Right explained.
“How did a Green Frog become the symbol of White Supremacy, Mr. Pepe Alt-Right ?”  The Young Aide blurted out.
“Well, it all started the day my Maker pulled me out of my Family Pond with that Net of his a few years ago,”  Pepe Alt-Right mused.
“Yes, he started takin’ me to all of those meetin’s of his loaded with those onion-breathed Onion Heads, some call Skin Heads.  And the costume lovin’ fella’s and gals who like to wear those ‘ole white sheets and long, pointy dunce caps,”  Pepe Alt-Right continued.
“Those Human Bein’s would listen to speech after speech of these other Human Bein’s yellin’ and shoutin’ about how they hate this group or that group or this skin color or that skin color or this nationality or that nationality.  Hate this and Hate that, because they have all done this or that to all of you Onion Heads and Pointy Headed, White Sheeted Hot Heads.  And it would get this ‘ole Green Frog really nervous.”
“Since I was a tadpole and a pollywog back in my ’ole Family Pond, this Green Frog was always taught to try and Love everybody, Warts and All.  Even all of you scary Human Bein’s, but the White Supremacists were havin’ none of that.”
“So, I got to where I would start hoppin’ around and around in Right Circles and croakin’ up a storm in that little ‘ole cage my Human Bein’ called my New Home, every time their ruckuses would start up,”  Pep Alt-Right said.
“Well, my Human Bein’ got so tickled at my little nervous Dance to the Right, that he began to call attention to me, and show me off to all of the other Human Bein’s,”  Pepe alt-Right recalled.
“It appears that my Dance to the Right amused everybody.  They laughed and laughed at me, and that made me even more nervous, so I would Dance to the Right even faster and higher.  And that would make all of the Human Bein’s laugh even harder and louder,” Pepe- Alt-Right said.
“Well, I became an Overnight Success at all of the White Supremacist Rallies,”  Pepe Alt-Right admitted with mixed emotions.
“Yep, before long, my Human Bein’ started Makin’ little Nazi Uniforms and Hats and shiny Boots for me to wear.  And that made the other Human Bein’s laugh even harder and louder.  They would salute me and say, “Heil, Pepe !”
“I must admit, I enjoyed the celebrity after a while, and memories of my Family Pond began to fade away into distant lily pads of the past.”
“And, here I hop before you, now Young Human Bein’, a Green Frog in the White House run by a White Supremacist, Alt-right Chief of Staff, Mr. Bannon !  Ribbit !  Ribbit !”  Pepe Alt-Right ribbited loftily.
“This is a proud day for all American Amphibians !  It is my Dream to one day see these hallways filled with hoppin’, wriggling’ and squigglin, Amphibians of all types, shapes, sizes and colors !”
“Especially, the genetically mutated Albinos.  Because they will be more in vogue with the Color Schemes of the Alt-Right, White Supremacist Human Bein’s I hop to the Right for,”  Pepe Alt-Right croaked less loudly.
“Now, mind you, I’m not complainin’ or anything, but I will be speakin’ to this Bannon fella’ about havin’ to hop to the Right all of the time.  Because I would really enjoy gettin’ to and fro to places in a more timely and energy savin’ manner.”
“But on the whole, I consider myself to be one very Lucky Amphibian !  Ribbit !”
“Well, Mr. Pepe Alt-Right it has been an honor to meet you, sir.  And I am one of Mr. Bannon’s new aides.  So, I will convey your best wishes to him at our next meeting today,”  the Young Aide said politely.
“Oh, would you ?  That would be just wonderful, Young Human Bein’.  And, please, give Mr. Bannon my highest regards,”  Pepe Alt-Right answered just as politely.
“And, while I have your attention, Young Human Bein’, may I ask you for a ride to that meetin’, ’cause at the rate I’m hoppin’ to the Right I will not reach that destination until some time next year,”  Pepe Alt-Right chirruped.
“Why, certainly, Mr. Pepe Alt-Right.  It would be my honor, sir,”  the Young Aide answered mildly as he scooped Pepe Alt-Right up into the palm of his Right hand and slid him into his Right pocket.
As the Young Aide proceeded down the hallway to the Bannon meeting, Pepe Alt-Right croaked, “Mind if I get my tongue around one of your Tic-Tacs ?  My breath is really grabbin’ me.”
“Oh, please do, Mr. Pepe Alt-Right.  We hand those out by the hundreds every day around here, now,”  the Young Aide answered matter-of-factly.
“Ribbit !”


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A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
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