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A naughty word
by Asa Butcher
2007-02-10 10:09:07
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When my brother and I were kids we used to play a game on long car journeys called ‘Who can make the other laugh the quickest’. It was a simple game consisting of pulling silly faces and making jokes, but no matter what happened neither of us would crack a smile. After a few minutes of playing, our dad would end the game with three simple words, “Poo! Bum! Willy!”

Yes, my brother and I would roll about with laughter at these hilarious words thereby awarding the game to Dad each time. It was childish, yet it helpfully emphasises the immaturity we both had at that age – my wife would argue I’d still laugh at them and I’d hang my head in shame. Yet, they are just words describing parts and functions of the human body, teaching kids about the subtle differences and similarities between men and women, boys and girls.

Therefore it was with disbelief when I read a recent BBC News story about a theatre in Florida that had to rename its production of The Vagina Monologues because a woman said she was "offended" when her niece asked her what a vagina was. I’m sorry, but I am going to repeat that sentence: A theatre in Florida has renamed its production of The Vagina Monologues because a woman said she was "offended" when her niece asked her what a vagina was.

Deep breath. Count to ten…1,2,3,4…Sod it! For the love of God, woman! Are you retarded? How did you manage to climb so far up your own arse? Who elected you Queen of the Morons? Let me get this straight: You were offended when a young female relative asked you a serious question about the female body? No, she didn’t know it was about the female body, and I am guessing from your reaction that the poor girl still doesn’t know.

You idiot woman, the word ‘vagina’ is the medical term for, well, the vagina. Over half the world has one, the majority of the world has emerged through one and there is nothing to be embarrassed about, let alone offended. When the girl finally finds out to what the word refers, she may wonder why Aunty Arsebrain was embarrassed and made it out to be a dirty and offensive thing to discuss. Nice going, aunty!

Let’s set the girl on a path of being ashamed of her body, let’s sow the seeds that will blossom into self-hate, low self-esteem and no self-confidence, all because Aunty made an issue out of nothing. However, it is likely that Aunty asked her Aunty the same question at the same age and received the same reaction thus sending her down this path of destruction.

Not only destroying the emotional relationship a girl has with her vagina, which must be far more complex than a boy has with his – look away now, Aunty – penis, but destroying culture with her prudish complaints. I cannot believe the theatre didn’t tell her to get an enema to flush her head back out from her anus, instead they pandered to this prig of a woman renaming the play The Hoohaa Monologues, a child slang word for the female organ - even the BBC story refrained from using vagina, instead choosing to use female organ.

Why isn’t this story an April Fool’s Day hoax that is revealed to be a mere wind-up? I could have lived with that, but no, we have one prude woman changing the world. How does this woman get a voice and the power to inflict mindboggling changes on the world? How many impressionable young girls have read this story and are now on the path to teenage pregnancy because you have deemed the topic of the human body and reproduction offensive? Do the world a favour by buying a ticket for the play and broadening your mind by a single millimetre.

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Eva2007-02-10 15:09:35
Pardon my laughter at this sad story, but well said Asa!

Frank2007-02-13 21:11:56
hehehe, you said anus :D

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