bloodstain 1

there were bloodstains
when I was born.
dad was angry
and swung his fist.

Mama wiped the blood
from her lip.
I was born early
on that same day.

Mama knew dad
for one short night,
"not mine,"
and he was gone.

Mama gave me life
and kissed my soul.
how could She know
life’s morbid toll.

She said, I cried,
with my first breath.
so She cradled me,
"have no fear,
Mama’s here."

Mama conceived
our lives were one,
no one else
could take her place.

there were bloodstains
when I was born
Mama did her best
to kiss my soul...

***

bloodstain 2

there are bloodstains
on my young walls.
I tried to wipe them,
but they can't go away.

I was only ten,
and still untouched
when it was done.
Mama warned me
about those boys.

they held me down
and ripped my dress,
and tore the spirit
from my flesh.

I ran for home
when they were done.
so tearful
to feel ashamed,
so fearful
to be alone.

Mama tried
to mend my soul,
but the tears...
would not ,
could not,
go away.

there are bloodstains
on my young walls
we tried,
but the scars
will always
remain.

***

Epilogue: bloodstain 3

there’s a bloodstain
on my front steps,
they tried to wash it
but it won’t go away.

I was playing
stoop ball,
Mama called,
"supper."
just one last throw.

the ball bounced
on his new toy,
"hey, bitch,
that’s my car."

Mama watched
one, then two and three,
I made him angry
he made me dead.

there’s a bloodstain
on my front steps,
they tried...
but it won’t go away.

First published in the print edition of Panic Magazine in 2000.