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Rob Jenkinson's Letters from America #15
by Rob Jenkinson
2007-01-09 09:52:36
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Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls – It’s my great and intense pleasure to announce to you that Christmas is back in America!

That’s right, the war against Christmas is over, but just like Iraq, there’s an insurgency that are still trying to ruin it.

Amazingly, it was everyone’s favorite small town USA killing mega corporation Wal*mart that decided they were going to win the battle for us. Earlier this month, they decided to not give a fuck about anti-Christmas minorities and say “Merry Christmas” instead of the standard and meaningless American seasonal greeting of “Happy Holidays”.

Has there been an uproar? No. Does anyone care? No. But as I said, there are still a lot of people who are afraid of saying “Merry Christmas” and still use “Happy Holidays”. I imagine for your average American, it must be like post-Taliban Afghan women losing the burkah.

Now, I don’t want to come across all Rush Limbaugh/Jeremy Clarkson/Daily Mail, but I’ve never understood the fear of saying “Merry Christmas” in western countries. Sure, in multicultural societies, there are groups, people who don’t celebrate the day and that’s fair enough, but where the idea that you can’t show any signs of Christmas out of fear of offending them came from, I don’t know.

The majority that I’ve spoken to simply don’t give a fuck about Christmas. Just like I don’t care if anyone wants to celebrate Ramadan, Hanukkah or whatever. Do what you like; I don’t care. Just like I didn’t care when I lived in a predominately Jewish area of London and the whole place shut down every Saturday or when I lived in a Pakistani area of London and lights when up for Ramadan.

I actually believe that the racists, who wanted to get the Rush Limbaugh’s of the world’s back up, created “Happy Holidays”. Certainly it did more harm than good to certain religious groups, as white America and Britain got angry that they couldn’t say the word “Christmas”.

Now, I’m sure there are people who get upset by having Christmas rammed down their throats and I’m sure if their kid was at school, they should exercise the right to not let their kid take part in a nativity play or anything else that goes against their beliefs. Isn’t that the definition of religious freedom?

Well, that’s how it’d work in my groovy world where I’m king. Lots of people living together not giving a fuck about what the next person is doing, as long as they’re not hurting someone else. So that means that all hate groups are outlawed.

Rob Jenkinson for 2008. I’m not eligible to vote or run, but I reckon I’m the right man for the job.

Happy New Year everyone!

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