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Mother Mother
by Alexander Mikhaylov
2008-11-26 09:26:01
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I returned home, switched the player on, fell on a chair and closed my eyes. It turned out to be one Hell of a day and I felt exhausted.

‘How was your day, son?’ – Mother inquired.

‘Awful,’ – I sighed and slumped deeper in my chair.

‘You always say that.’

‘I do?’

‘Yes.’

‘Hah!’

‘Son, you’re getting too fat. You’ve got to slim down a bit. Pick up some exercise, go to a gym.’

‘Do you think I’m too fat?’

‘I’m telling you son. Who else would say a true word to you?’

‘But I’m not too fat, for God’s sake! Why are you always telling me this?’

‘And you must marry. It’s time for you to get married. You’re a big boy now. You’ve got to get your own family. You need a good wife and kids. It’ll straighten you up enormously.’

‘The Hell I need a family, especially kids! What the heck are you talking about?’

‘And you’re too fat. Stop eating so much, son. You’re ruining your figure. You’re ruining your health.’

‘What do you know about my health anyway?’

‘All I can say to you that you’re getting too fat. And you need a good woman to take a proper care of you. And kids…’

‘Jesus Christ! What’s wrong with you again?’

‘Son, I’m telling you this for your own good. You’re…’

I got up, approached the player and hit a button. The disk stopped revolving, popped out and stilled. I picked it up. It had the title ‘Mother’ typed on its surface. I walked over to the kitchen and threw the disk in the trash bin. I knew there was always something wrong with this ‘Your loving audio family interactive edition’. No matter which version I bought it never worked properly. Yet I continued to purchase this stuff on a monthly basis. I had no idea why I kept doing this. It was a total mystery.


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