Believe me, I have said many things that came out just plain ignorant sounding. The good news is that I’m not alone. Read these famous, no make that infamous quotes from famous people. I hope it makes you feel better if you’ve ever had foot-in-mouth disease like I have had before. And probably will again for that matter.

"Half this game is 90% mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
 
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, SC
 
"Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery
 
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed & it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark Fowler, FCC Chairman
 
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
 
"Whenever I watch TV & see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies & death & stuff." -- Mariah Carey
 

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
 

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
 

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
 
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, & I'm just the one to do it." -- A congressional candidate in Texas
 
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air & water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
 
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” -- Dan Quayle, Vice President
 

"We've got to pause & ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
 
Question: If you could live forever, would you & why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." -- Miss Alabama, Heather Whitestone, in the 1994 Miss USA contest, which she won.
 
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. [By the way, this guy is not related to the author…thank goodness!]