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iBite ...seriously iBite ...seriously
by Thanos Kalamidas
2008-11-21 09:20:40
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Did you know that Joe the plumber is becoming Joe the publisher? Well I presume you know all that since I wrote a whole article about him a few days ago, what you might not know is that after Joe the publisher he’s going to be Joe the media whore. You see the Republican Party reformers managed something unique, in one campaign they created two Frankenstein monsters, a male monster Joe the everything and the female Joe six pack girlfriend, Sarah the hockey mother Palin; it is just like in the supermarkets, you pay for one and you get two!

According to rumours coming from the northern state of the United States all the elks and moose are running away in panic and Mika Moose, our very own Ovi magazine moose; has declared that he hates Sarah and that she’s persona non grata for the North Pole and Santa’s village; all that despite all our reassurances that Mrs. Palin has been seen at the moment in Miami in a very hot pair of shorts sunbathing. Rumours that seals are changing state are under investigation and if there is somebody in Miami who could give us further information we would really appreciate it!

And while elks, moose and seals are in real panic another Republican decided to screw all the other species of the animal kingdom which Palin could not reach. Actually it is the endangered species and the Republican is the President George W. Bush who decided to rush some minor changes in ht Endangered Species Act taking away some of them and their environment, you see according the President these animals and their environmental protection endangers something else, drilling, dumping, dirtying. Again we like to reassure our readers that idiots such as George W. Bush has often proved are not included in the endangered species.

Talking about idiots Madonna’s divorce with Guy Ritchie is official, actually is going to be official any minute as the High Court lists show. Perhaps now we know better why the stock markets are suffering all this week, the question was will Madonna pay Guy, well the man was sleeping for so long with the mummy, he even had kids with her, he must take something and now I had a brilliant idea, after the return of the mummy, Guy will direct married with the mummy!

And while all these exciting things are happening in the land of Mummy, in Russia scientists trying to recreate the Jurassic Park. Oh please don’t worry Putin is fine ready to return to the emperor’s seat, we are talking about mammoths and the DNA scientists found in a frozen beast and now they try to clone a real again. Imagine to see the mammoths walking again on earth, the dinosaurs and brontosaurs …Berlusconi, Sarkozy and Brown must feel at home if that happens!

And talking about old things and Gordon Brown something I noticed on the news, a British court decided to return to Greece a Byzantine icon stolen from a monastery; shouldn’t the British courts return some more things stolen from Greece? Like half the Parthenon!!! After all Gordon Brown was one of the people who had supported the idea in the past. But then again in the past he had supported a good health system and a healthy economy!!! Now I understood the meaning of the phrases, power corrupts politician empty promises and others.

In the meantime Captain Hook is back in the Somalia waters and according analysts Somalia becomes a pirate’s magnet. Here I have to admit that I feel a bit confused, what they mean with this pirates magnet, are they going to make sites you can download music for free? Can you find the last AC/DC record in Somalia for free? You see piracy is a word with many meanings the last few years, forget Captain Hook, forget the hook now the pirates have satellite information and mobiles for communication; talking about mobiles, even NOKIA proudly became a pirate copying without guilt the name of the Ovi!

Thinking of it perhaps these Russian scientists can help the French socialist party which seems to be in a deadlock looking for a leader that might resurrect them because with Royal I can see them going for drilling again, I said drilling and I remembered Sarah again. The poor woman is in Miami sunbathing after an exhausting campaign! A tired mother exchanging hockey for wind-surfing and six-pack cheap beer for Champagne cocktails!!!

Talking about Champagne I remembered the CEO of the sinking stokes in the N.Y. stock market! After lecturing that time has come to cut expenses and feeling sorry for the thousands that will be soon unemployed they entered their private jets to drink their Champagne away from the public eyes but we are sure while flying south, drinking Champagne and tasting caviar there was a tear in their eyes, a very valuable tear for all those unemployed and it lasted exactly one second before they start partying again!

Charles is partying as well, his sixtieth birthday. Nearly retirement age and still waiting for his mommy to let him take over the family business. I said mammy not mummy, the queen is just a bit old! After all in this article there is only one entitled to be called mummy! Anyway, its like these old westerns where the cowboy is riding in the sunset singing I’m a lonely cowboy, in this case it will be Charles riding his camel in the sunset singing …I’m a lonely prince!!!

  
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Emanuel Paparella2008-11-21 14:45:37
And after both Joe the plumber and Sarah hockey mom have completed their books they will send a copy to George Bush who was over-heard by one of his professor (Harold Bloom)proudly asserting that "I have never read a book from cover to cover." Indeed we live in philistine times.

As for the CEO, what exquisite paradox: CEOs descending from their private jets with tin cups in their hands and when one of the democratic congressmen asked if they wanted to put their jets for sale, the silence was deafning; at that point the congressman exclaimed: let the record show that no hands went up. O tempora, o mores.


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