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by Thanos Kalamidas
2008-03-30 09:21:32
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A German theatre is to stage the world premiere of the controversial Salman Rushdie novel The Satanic Verses, breaking a long taboo and prompting fears of a backlash by local Muslims.

A new jihad will start now …against theater!

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Job-centers in the UK are running adverts for sex chat-line workers and pole dancers.

There is no embarrassment in any job!

********************

A City banker who shone a high-powered torch at a helicopter while it was preparing to land was jailed yesterday after being told that he could have caused a catastrophe by blinding the pilot.

He was looking for his sky-high stocks!

********************

Armed police swooped on an old folks’ home – to arrest a pensioner in a cowboy hat brandishing a plastic pistol!

The British security forces, war on terror in action!

********************

The Mexican government has ordered 2,000 troops to the U.S.-Mexico border in response to a wave of drug-related violence that is blamed for 200 deaths since January, officials announced Thursday.

And I thought they wanted to stop US citizens from immigrating to Mexico!!!

********************

A Mukilteo man has been sentenced to three years in a California prison for tricking 911 dispatchers into sending a SWAT team to the Orange County home of a randomly selected family.

And then they tried to prove that they weren’t terrorists!

********************

Zimbabwe voting ended and President Robert Mugabe faces a strong challenge from the opposition.

So he called them in a discussion, they are the ones behind the bars with guns on their backs!

********************

At least 15,000 bags are stranded at Heathrow airport after a third day of cancellations at the new Terminal 5.

I need my toothbrush!

********************

The Arab League's annual summit has begun in the Syrian capital Damascus but key leaders are staying away amid signs of a growing regional rift.

What they are going to play The Satanic Verses in Damascus also?

********************

Equatorial Guinea has issued an arrest warrant for Sir Mark Thatcher over his alleged role in a failed 2004 coup. The country's attorney general said that Sir Mark, son of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, had provided money and transport.

While mummy was at work, the son …

********************

Farmers in Argentina have suspended a crippling strike called in protest at rises in export taxes on farm products.

They are offering cheap tomatoes to throw at the new president?

********************

A man has been cleared of harassing Oscar-nominated actress Samantha Morton, but given a restraining order to stop him from contacting her.

And he was so …proud!!!

********************

Former tabloid editor Piers Morgan has won the US version of Celebrity Apprentice, beating former boxing star Lennox Lewis and singer Trace Adkins.

Did anybody notice that they all were …former something?

********************

A US state department review has found that the passport files of several high-profile Americans have been accessed, the Associated Press reports including Ann-Nicole Smith!

Idiots, Playboy has better photos!

********************

A US judge passes a sentence ordering three Spanish-speaking men to learn English or go to jail.

Qué?

********************

You might see a copycat Ovi magazine

Remember that whoever copycats Ovi magazine shows how limited and untalented some parasites can be! But the legal system prevails, even the Mexican one!


 
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