Clashes between protesters and security forces in Tibet's main city of Lhasa have left at least two people dead, according to reports.

Is this the China that hosts the institution of peace and friendship called the Olympic Games?

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EU leaders have agreed to finish talks by the end of the year on an ambitious plan to fight climate change. The EU aims to implement a 20% cut in greenhouse gases by 2020, compared with 1990 levels.

Do miracles happen? Indeed they do, it is just …too late! 1990 was already too late!

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A Pakistani court has quashed the last of seven corruption cases against Asif Zardari, the widower of assassinated former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. They were withdrawn as part of an amnesty agreed last year between Ms Bhutto and President Pervez Musharraf.

No worries, the good dictator will find another way of keeping assassination as the last …solution!

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Voting took place in Iran, with conservatives expected to win after opponents of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were barred from running.

Voting in Iran? That sounds like the month’s joke from Iran. What choices do the people have, you might wonder. Well, everything is very simple: you either vote for Ahmadinejad for president or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for president, the choice is yours. There is another voting possibility: do you want Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with beard or without? That’s what they call democracy and free elections in Iran!

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President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad flew in from an Islamic summit in Senegal to cast his vote. He said the world had chosen Iran as its "role model and savior".

Oh man, speak dirty!

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Austrians have held a candlelit vigil to mark their country's annexation by Nazi Germany 70 years ago. They lit 80,000 candles in Vienna, representing the number of Austrian Jews and others killed by the Nazis.

Somebody call Ms. Kern and tell her! Among the victims were homosexuals.

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President George Bush has attempted to restore confidence in the US economy, amid the deepening financial crisis. Speaking at the Economic Club of New York the President acknowledged that growth had slowed but said that the economy is basically sound.

He’s very optimistic; he knows that the Democrats are coming to correct things!

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The prostitute at the centre of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's sex scandal has been named by US media. The woman, named in court papers as Kristen, is Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the New York Times reported. Ms Dupre, 22, told the Times she did not want "to be thought of as a monster", but gave no comments on her alleged relationship with Mr. Spitzer.

It was a pure business relationship with money exchanged!

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"Studies show no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades," said State Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City.

While racist and prejudice societies last ….let me see, hmm …ask Hitler!

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India's Supreme Court has described a legal case in which Hollywood actor Richard Gere is accused of obscene behavior as "frivolous". The court judge said "this is the end of the matter" and that Gere was free to enter India.

As long he keeps his lips …away!

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Pop star Michael Jackson has refinanced his Neverland ranch to save it from being auctioned off, his lawyer says.

As long as that keeps him away from …just anybody!

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The seventh and final Harry Potter book will be adapted for the big screen in two parts, Warner Bros has confirmed. The announcement comes after producer David Heyman admitted it was impossible to cram Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' 608 pages into a single movie.

What was that song in the musical Cabaret? Money, money, money!!!

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You might see a copycat Ovi magazine

Remember that whoever copycats Ovi magazine shows how limited and untalented some parasites can be! But the legal system prevails, even the Mexican one!