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How to become an alpha person How to become an alpha person
by Jay Gutman
2019-01-19 11:59:23
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Some companies make you spend hundreds of dollars, pretending to teach you how to become a better person. Here I will give you tips, absolutely free, on how to become an alpha person.

A lot of literature uses the phrase “alpha male” to describe confident, competitive men as opposed to “beta males” who are men who lack confidence and competitiveness. But to me both men and women can become more confident and competitive, so here are the tips, in no particular order.

akpa0001_400-Learn how to read people. You basically have three types of personalities: emotional, factual and narrative. Emotional people are people who express themselves with emotions, and they have trouble with giving you the facts or telling you a story. Factual people tend to be good with facts, but often don't express their emotions and are not very good at telling stories. Narrative people are good at telling stories, but have trouble with accurate facts or displaying their emotions.

-Get to know the people around you, but don't gossip. Orient conversation on the future rather than on the past. Ask people what they want and where they want to be headed. Drag the conversation on the future, and get to know where everyone sees themselves in the future. But do get to know people, at the very deep level. Don't be shallow when getting to know other people. Also make sure people get to know you and remember you. A big mistake people make is to exclusively focus the conversation on the people they are talking to. Talk about yourself as much as you ask other people questions. 

-Act as a go-between and introduce people to each other by matching their future aspirations. One wants to work in environmental sustainability, the other in renewable energy, introduce them to each other. One wants to improve his Spanish, the other speaks fluent Spanish, introduce them to each other.

-Be happy and kind, but allow people to complain. A lot of books insist that you should stay away from complainers but that's almost hypocrisy because there will always be problems. You will have as many problems as anyone else. Discuss your problems with other people, let other people complain, try to discuss solutions, but be optimistic and satisfied with your life overall.

-Be emotionally stable and control your emotions. It's very easy to lose friends and end up alone if you can't control your emotions.

-Make sure you hang out with people who would know how to give you a good introduction. There are three categories of people: people lovers, people haters, and people indifferent about other people. People haters would give you a very bad introduction. People indifferent to other people will not even bother introducing you to other people. People lovers will give you a great introduction, which will help you in turn make more friends.

-Keep in mind that there are three types of societies. There are militarized societies, tribal societies and free societies. In militarized societies people defend their rank. They will ask to be treated according to their rank, with deference if they are of a higher rank and casually if they are of a lower rank. People in tribal societies defend their tribe. They tend to be very self-conscious about the rigid social rules their tribe taught them and will often speak of their tribe rather than themselves as individuals. People from free societies tend to defend themselves as individuals. Be culturally sensitive, but hang out with the crowd that best fits your own personal description.

-People aren't their true selves on social media. Often they only reveal part of who they are, a lot of times they even give a false image of who they are. Get to know people on the ground; don't rely on social media to get to know other people.

-Yes, money's important, and if you don't chase money, it won't come chasing you. Stop binging on sit-coms and dramas, and start reading about financial management. Read as much about financial management as you can.

-Big one. Know your flaws and celebrate them. A lot of people will do all of the above, but will hate themselves for their flaws, or will be very disturbed or irritated when reminded of their flaws. If you're too short, too big, bald, tend to say one word or the other too often, don't speak a language despite having lived 20 years in a country where the language is spoken, divorced four times, no problem. Joke about that and allow people to tease you about that.

-Another big one. Take it easy when you disagree with people. People don't read the same books, don't have the same goal, don't have the same background. You might really disagree with what some people say. Take it easy. Only debate if invited to debate. Don't improvise a presidential election primary debate on something you disagree with. You won't win any votes.

-Finally, keep your goal in mind. The first part of your goal is to provide a service. That's the priority. Number two priority is to make money. Don't mix those two priorities up. You want to be good at providing your service and constantly improve when it comes to providing your service, then you want a steady cash inflow. I know too many people who were so focused on making money that they did not take time to improve the quality of the service they were providing. Big mistake. What happens is eventually other people come up with a better quality of the service you provide, and customers move to the other service provider.

In sum, being an alpha person is not about having an unshakable confidence and getting all the girls. It's about being a good person and sort of winning at life. I wish you, and myself, success.


     
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