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When love is not enough
by Abigail George
2018-12-26 11:44:34
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When love is not enough
(for Ambronese)

    A thousand-people loving me could
    not undo the onion-layers of damage
    done of my tribe not loving me back
    and holding me close and cherishing
    me and me clinging onto them for my
 
    lifetime. All my life those in-the-family

lovabigail001_400    way have been a disabling vortex.
    Flush with flux. Determined with
    their own crooked little hearts. Still, to
    this day, these ghosts have to be
    forgiven. Oh, perhaps they’re giving.
    Their children brave, bright and

    resilient. Salty-licked, stars every one. 

Burning suns.

    Northern Americas every single
    one. They are holistic winners. Sophisticates.
    Wealthy pioneers. They’re just,
    but they’re missing something.
    They’re missing the blank slate
    of forest-schooled-me. I live in
    the same way the sea lives. I have
    the exact perspective of a piece
    of driftwood on the divine beach.

You’re not one of us, they sing in unison.

    Can’t get that cartoon tune of hurt
    out of the inside of my head. There’s
    just no love. No forgiveness. I’m
    damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
    You’ll survive, someone screams
    in the silence of my bedroom where
    I’m dreaming of Parisian rooftops.
    I watch cooking shows on television
    until the early hours of the morning.
Thinking of nothing. Thinking of everything.
    And this flux, this inscrutable vortex,
    whatever ‘it’ is, I blame the name-
    and-shame game of madness. It loiters
    like a vagrant. I give love my all
    but it is not enough. I yearn for it.

For its unfolding spring harvest and bounty but still,

    But still, they shout and point and stare.
    You’re not one of sacred us. This trust.
    Not quite enough. Not enough meat to me.
    I am posed though. Half of me expected
    this. Danced to this cartoon all my life.

***********************************************************************
Abigail George has two books in the Ovi Bookshelves,
"All about my mother" & "Brother Wolf and Sister Wren"
Download them, NOW for FREE HERE!

 life_06_400


   
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