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Jane of Thought: Flashers of the planet unite! Jane of Thought: Flashers of the planet unite!
by Jane Eagle
2007-05-04 09:56:36
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Hello world. Right to the point without prologues, blablablas, etc. (well that is unusual for my style… that coffee has gotta have something to do with it). Anyway, I was checking my mail the other day: Panda Software was updating me about the new viruses in the market while Asa listed the most important days of the week in order to inspire some Ovi-writing, such as birthdays of important people, anniversaries of important facts, celebrations, multiple exposures of important genitals, what? Me what, who what, what the hell, NO PANTS DAY??

I had never heard of such thing. At first I checked it twice, thrice and ten-ice, well lots of times is the exact number. Then I Googled it and read all about it, gosh, I saw pictures too. According to Wikipedia, on the first Friday of May large groups of people parade around without their pants on (no skirts, dresses, shorts or kilts allowed either) – oh Jane, we’re screwed. I guess I’ll walk out of it with a Carrie Bradshaw crazy big panties outfit… hmmm, well after some re-speculation, the best solution is not to walk out of the house at all.

Yet I’m dying to share the history of this holiday, attention, attention… Well you see on the Halloween of 1938 Orson Welles broadcasted the notorious episode “The War of the Worlds”. According to Wikipedia again: “The live, 60-minute broadcast, presented mostly as a series of news bulletins, frightened many listeners into believing that an actual Martian invasion was in progress. There was public outcry against the episode, but it launched Welles to great fame. That is possibly the most successful radio dramatic production in history. It was one of the Radio Project's first studies.” Your grandparents must remember this – no way you do because you look so young and I’m sure you’ll buy me some ice cream because, like I said, you look so fresh and young my little flower bud.

The whole prank part is what “they” want us to believe. The real truth (first time revealed by the legendary Jane Eagle) is that there was actually an alien attack taking place that night. Orson Welles and his reporters were the brave mass media men that faced the dragon (the green dragon) in order to inform the world of the danger (the green danger). That horrifying night (brrrrr!) only one human being came out on the prairie, oh sorry, on the street I mean (got confused of the amount of green), stood up and with courage, strength of the soul, unbuttoned his coat and there out of nowhere a light flashed out of him; he was completely naked (completely as we say below the waist). The view of his private stuff scared the crap out of the aliens who vanished from the face of the Earth like ants under a big foot.

Ever since, we have honoured that great man, that great flasher, with No Pants Day. The reason we celebrate his deed of daring and heroism in spring and not on Halloween is because the warm vernal weather allows our cheeks (not the ones mummy kisses) to feel more comfortable. So you probably wonder why I’m yanking you that badly. I’m just having fun talking out of my supersexy butt, hehe. The real, real truth though of the No Pants Day takes us back to the ’80 and some university in Texas, no reasons, all fun.
So throw away the belts and pants, put on your funky boxers and conquer the World, the System, the Matrix man!... (Piece of advice: make sure others will follow you and act the same, don’t go out there by yourself, it’s pretty alienating, hahahaha).

    
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Sand2007-05-04 10:29:03
I was twelve years old at the time of the Orson Welles Martian invasion and had already read the H.G.Wells original. I heard subsequent radio reports of the panic and how someone in New Jersey had peppered a threatening water tower with buckshot. I'm sure G.W.Bush will have us fighting Martians as soon as Iraq is subdued.


Eva2007-05-04 13:06:39
Maybe an obligatory No Pants Day for some administrations wouldn't be such a bad idea.. to bare the facts, so to speak, eheum...


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