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Remember, This is a Gun-Free Zone!
by Leah Sellers
2018-05-08 08:41:14
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“What’s that flash over in the cheap seats ?!” Mr. Whine La-Pee-Air asked as he ducked behind the podium.

“It’s someone with a flash camera, sir,” The well dressed Security Guard said lowly so as not to be heard over the podium’s microphone.

noguns01_400Popping up suddenly, Mr. La-Pee-Air smiled a little too widely, appearing more feral than puerile, as he stared out over the NRA-ILA Leadership Forum’s crowded room in Dallas, Texas. “Excuse me folks, but I find myself having to repeat that this is a Gun-Free Zone.”

A few restless boos and serpentine, rattling hisses could be heard throughout the crowded hall.

Trying to retrieve the moment, Mr. Whine La-Pee-Air said, “You, all of You, are the True American Patriots, because you are not afraid to Protect and Defend YourSelves and Your Constitutional Right to bear Arms !”

The boos and hisses immediately stopped as the Crowd cheered and hurrahed.

“And remember, the only thing that can stop a Bad Man with a Gun is a Good Man with a Gun. And the only thing that can stop a Good Man with a Gun is a Bad Man with a Gun ! You cancel one another out, but not before I, and my compatriots make a hefty profit off of you ! So, keep buying
Guns ! Our Guns are American Made to kill whoever you want to point them at ! America’s up-tick in Mass Murders proves that !”

The rowdy NRA-ILA Crowd began to become a little less rowdy and certain as to what, and who they were really cheering on.

Sensing his mistake of hubris, Whine La-Pee-Air raised his voice saying, “And now, Good, Patriotic Customers, let me introduce you to someone who really needs very little introduction, Vice President Mike Pence !”

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed loudly.

Whine La-Pee-Air shook Mike Pence’s hand as he exited the stage and left Pence to fend for himself.

“Good afternoon, Gentlemen and Ladies ! It’s good to be here in Dallas, Texas along with Gun Loving Governor Greg Abbott, Attorney General Paxton and Senator Ted Cruz ! And, of course, all of you Lovers of Guns !”

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed.

“Yes, you know me, I am an Evangelical, Godly Man, and God wants You to have Guns in your itchy trigger finger, hands ! It’s God’s Plan to make America Great Again !” Vice President Pence evinced.

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed.

“And now, without further adieu, raise you Make America Great Again caps and Cowboy and Cowgirl hats high, and salute our Emperor….er, I mean our King…..er, I mean our President of these rapidly Dividing United States of America, The Don Trumpty !”

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed very loudly. And the cued Music was raised and blared out the Song - “Oh Stormy, Oh Stormy…….”

The Don Trumpty smiled broadly and proudly as he raised his small to middlin’ hands high, while basking in the adulation of his whooping, hollering, Gun-Loving - but not presently Carrying or Concealed Carrying - Crowd.

“Thank you ! Thank you ! I and You know that I am Great ! I and You know I deserve your Fandom ! So, please, let me relish in this Orange- Blonde Moment, as You applaud me a little longer ! That’s Show Biz,
Folks ! And I am here to give you a Show, so you give me Your Votes, and get the NRA and Weapons Makers some more Business !”

“After all, I am Your Nobel Prize Winner this year, thanks to North Korea’s Little Rocket Man, South Korea’s Man on the Moon and China’s CEO Emperor ! Come on ! Come on ! Show me Your Love !” Trumpty trumptied.
The Crowd cheered and hurrahed, and the Music blared, “Oh Stormy, Oh Stormy, bring back that Winter’s Day….”

“Alright, alright ! My plane’s on hold at the Airport. So, let’s make this quick !”

“There is no Collusion. Today, a Republican Judge reprimanded Republican Mueller and his Republican Legal Gang, that I keep telling you are Democrats so that you will hate them and to confuse You, regarding Paul Manafort’s case. And he was only my Campaign Manager for a little bitty second,” Trumpty harrumphtied.

“Now, he didn’t let Manafort off the hook, and hasn’t ruled on the case yet, but he let Mueller and his Special Counsel Gang have it. Ha ! Ha ! And that pleases me immensely !”

“Now, we all know that the NRA owns almost all of the Republican Representatives and Senators in the Washington Swamp, just like they do here in the Texas Alligator Pits. They paid for all of them, and You pay them, so You own me (for now that is) ! And the Koch Brothers and other Gun loving Elites have paid for the NRA to grab Power and get away with mass murder. Just ask the Sandy Hook Parents and the Parkland Kids, and all of those relatives of the Dead out in Las Vegas or what’s left of that little country Church right here in Texas.”

“That’s also one of the reasons that we need to have highly trained Teachers with Guns in our American classrooms to Protect and Defend your kids ! We need Educational Gunslingers !”

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed, “U.S.A. ! U.S.A. !……

“So, who am I to get in the way ?! Keep it up ! Keep those pistols way up, and give your Allegiance to Me and the Second Amendment, because I’m your Second Amendment Man !”

“I will Protect the Second Amendment above all other Constitutional Amendments ! This Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press thing has got to go anyway, because I’m getting sick and tired of manipulating, distracting and entertaining my way around the First Amendment, and some of the others as well.”

“I would much rather support and strengthen the Second Amendment, because I’m getting a big payoff and Voting block from it !”

“So, raise your MAGA Caps high and keep your Guns ready and loaded ! Everywhere, but here that is, because this NRA rally is in a Gun Free Zone.”

“Remember, the Future in my Age of Chaotic Absurdities is about to get very interesting ! So, come on along and enjoy the Wild Ride, and we’ll see if I can finally figure out where were headed !”

The Crowd cheered and hurrahed as the Music continued to pump and rock out, “Oh Stormy, Oh Stormy, bring back that Winter’s day…….and the Children’s Chorale singing, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want…….”


Check Leah Seller's EBOOK
A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
You can download it for FREE HERE!


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