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Why I enjoy arguing with my kids Why I enjoy arguing with my kids
by Katerina Charisi
2017-12-31 08:53:18
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I bet that you hate fighting with your kids. I do. I hate it when I have to be the bad mom who says “no”. I hate when I see their disappointed faces.

I generally talk a lot with my kids. I try to listen and most of the times I really do. Even when what they tell me is totally out of my slightest of interest, I do listen and I do try to see things from their point of view: Something can really be important for them, though for an adult it’s probably nonsense. So I listen. We talk about it, and most of the times we do reach to our golden section, where we come to an agreement that suits us all, about food, clothes, a weekend’s activities, or when/what - even if we buy something they want. Now, I’m not going to pretend that things end up always well. They don’t. There are days where no matter how reasonable I try to be, how nicely I explain to them why this or that is not a good option at all, they keep insisting.

kids01And to be even more honest with you, most of the times I am the one who loses that battle. Not because I finally accept their request, but because I end the conversation first, for having nothing else to say and remain calm, so it usually goes like “No. No is a no, end of the story!” and I leave the room first. Yes, like a spoiled child. Me, the adult.

But you know what? Always, later on, when I sit and think about what have happened earlier, I bring my kids faces before me in my mind, and I smile. I smile! Because I’m really proud of them. Without screaming and stomping their feet on the floor, without cries and entreaties, with their heads straight up and their little bodies against my massive figure, they, the little ones, against me, the big, huge, powerful adult, have the strength to raise their voice and stick to their opinion. And God, I am so proud of them. Raising children who dare to speak when they feel wronged, isn’t enough reason to feel proud about myself too, as their mother? I did that! Even if I am the one to lose the battle in the end.

And I can’t avoid bringing up my old memories, when I tried to explain something to my own parents and they didn’t agree. I always told them to please, let me have my own choice. If I’m wrong, then I’ll pay for it!

Who can predict things in their life? You can’t predict the future. You can assume, you can calculate, you can think and imagine, but you can never, ever be sure for the outcome. We all have made choices that proved wrong, and yet, when we made them, it was because we strongly believed it was the best thing to do at the moment! We all have made mistakes, but think about it: You don’t make a mistake just like that. When you are about to do something, at that moment, for your then reasons, you believe it is the right thing to do.

So in the end, what is the best for your children? Not making mistakes at all - which would be a tremendous lie because there’s no way for a human being not to do any mistakes, or learning to deal with their mistakes, get over them and move on?

Each time I have this little enlightening conversation with myself. Then I get back to my kids and start another conversation. And yes, they usually win. We find again a golden section, balancing more to their side to be honest, but they have the ultimate right to chose. And that teaches them to deal with their choices later.

Sometimes arguing can be a blessing!


   
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