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Hurricane Harvey, 'Gators, Cotton Mouths and Floating Logs Hurricane Harvey, 'Gators, Cotton Mouths and Floating Logs
by Leah Sellers
2017-08-31 10:20:52
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“I don’t know why I always let you Boys talk me into these hair-brained ideas of yours,”  Buzz complained.
“What do you mean hair-brained ?  There are people out there in houses and apartments as far as the eye can see up to their necks in high water,”  Fred retorted.  “They need help, and we are here to help them, you knit-wit !”
“What are you so sore about, Buzz ?”  Hank asked.  “You want me to paddle for a while ?”
“Naw, Man, I’ll paddle the pirogue, but I’m not climbin’ out of this boat for nobody or nothin‘,  Buzz drawled emphatically.
“This water is crawlin’ with all kinds of Critters and Pot Holes.  I’m not takin’ a chance on steppin’ on a cruisin’ Gator or gettin’ swarmed and stung by a Fire Ant Island or bit by any meanderin’ Cotton Mouth Moccassin !  Not me !  I’m your Paddle Man, that’s all !”  Buzz announced.
harvey1_400“Well, alright, Buzz.  You just paddle away while Fred and I wade through all of the Critters and dis-ease ridden Germs and Floatin’ Logs from the overrun Sewers, Buddy Boy, in order to save folks from their flooded homes and vehicles,”  Hank said sardonically.  “You just paddle away !”
“You Boys, cut it out.  Alright ?!  I’ve heard about enough of you goin’ at one another.  Hank, if Buzz just wants to paddle the gol’ durned boat, let him.  You and I will wade on in and get the Families and their Pets out of harms way,”  Fred said abruptly.
“If there is one thing that Life has taught me it’s that catastrophes of all kinds can blow through your Life just like Hurricane Harvey.  Life Events or MisFortunes that can knock you flat off of your feet, and near drown you.  Near do you in.  That’s when you Learn that no matter what, We All Need to be there for one another - no matter what,”  Fred continued.
“That Folks in need are Folks in Need,”  Fred added.  “It’s not Walls that build Great Nations, Boys.  It’s Mutual Outreach and Cooperation.”
“Fred, it’s at times like these that I can really tell that your Daddy was a Baptist Preacher, Man,”  Hank grinned.  “You get all Speechified and take to Speechifyin’ !”
“Oh, My God !”  Buzz shouted.
“What is it ?!”  Hank asked.  “A Gator ?!”  A Cotton Mouth ?!” 
“No, it’s one of those Floatin’ Logs you Boys were yakkin’ about earlier.  You wanna’ see ?”  Buzz queried.
“Do I want to see it ?!”  Hank fumed.
“I’m serious fella’s.  Zip it up, and fly right !”  Fred grumbled loudly.  Get your minds around the Folks we’re tryin’ to Help out here, would ya’?!
“This bein’ a Hero stuff is hard work, Fred,”  Buzz whined.
“What !”
“Well, I’m doin’ all of the paddlin’ while you Boys get a Free Ride to wherever it is you have me paddlin’ all of us to.  I’m near exhausted,”  Buzz whined some more.
“You said that you wanted to be the Paddle Man, so paddle !  Fred growled.  “And, Buzz, the next word you say outloud, I’m gonna’ throw one of those Floatin’ Logs right into that gapin’ black hole you call a mouth.  Got it ?!”
“Now, Fred, is that any way for a Preacher’s Boy to talk ?”  Hank kidded.
“I swear, you Boys are drivin’ me crazy,”  Fred said exasperatedly.  “I am tryin’ to get into a Hero’s Mind-Set, and the two of you Air Heads are makin’ that near impossible.”
“A Hero’s Mind-Set ?”  Hank sniggered.
“Yes, we are out here to give Folks a Helpin’ Hand.  To Save them from their terrible circumstances, and take them to a Safe Haven, where they can be further Helped by others,”  Fred explained crabbily.
“Help !  Help !”  a distant Voice called out.  “Over here, Young Men !  Over here !”
“I see her.  Look over there.  The big house to the left up there,”  Hank said as he pointed up ahead, and to the left.  “It’s a Little Old Lady holdin’ what looks like a Chihuahua.  Hear it barkin’ ?!
“You call that barkin’ ?”  Buzz sniffed.  “I call that yappin’.”
“Yooo-whooo, here we are, Boys !”  the Little Old Lady cried out.
“We see you, Ma’am !  We’re headin’ your way as fast as our Paddle Man can get us there,”  Fred shouted back at the Little Old Lady.
“You Boys are gonna owe me a six-pack of Budweiser when all is said and done here today,”  Buzz whispered loudly.
As the 14-foot pirogue edged into what used to the Little Old Lady’s front porch area, Hank and Fred hopped out of the boat in order to help her, and her Dog, into the boat, and retrieve the two garbage bag covered containers she had ready to go.
“Thank you, Young Men, so much for being out here to help Folks like me, and precious Pups like, Pooky.  God Bless you, one and all !”  the Little Old Lady exclaimed.
“Think nothin’ of it, Ma’am,”  Fred answered assuredly.  “Just bein’ good Samaritans, that’s all.”
Suddenly, the Little Old Lady’s Dog leapt out of her arms, and into the water.  The Chihuahua began to paddle back into the flooded house through the front doorway toward what used to be the Living Room.
“No, Pooky, no !”  the Little Old Lady called out.
Fred, who was still standing in water that went to his chest, swam out to get the Dog before he lost him somewhere in the Drowned House.
“You Boys, come help me get the Dog,”  Fred sputtered.
“Not me, Fred !”  Buzz said.  “Little Pooky is Dog Paddlin’ around with Floatin’ Dookies.  No way, I’m gettin’ in that water.”
“Comin’, Fred,”  Hank yelled as he finished sitting the second covered container between the Little Old Lady’s legs inside the pirogue.
“Oh, thank you, Young Men,”  the Little Old Lady cried out.  “Thank you for saving my Pooky.”
Pooky yelped.
“Got him !”  Fred yelled.  “It’s alright, Hank, you can head back to the boat now.”
“Now, you tell me,”  Hank grumbled.
“This Lady has lost everything, Hank.  Everything,”  Fred announced quietly as the Two Friends waded back toward the pirogue.
“Yep, and yet she can take the time to thank us for comin’ along to save her and her troublesome mutt,”  Hank said earnestly.  “Certainly puts things in another Perspective, doesn’t it, Fred ?”
“Sure does, Hank,”  Fred agreed.
“Oh, My God !”  Buzz yelled.
“Hank and Fred grinned knowingly at one another.
“What is it, Buzz a Floatin’ Dooky from little Pooky, here ?”  Fred asked good naturedly.
“Nope.  Gator !”  Buzz spurt out.
Seconds passed.
“Gotta’ give it to ya’, Boys,”  Buzz laughed.  “I have never see the two of you move that fast in your whole lives.  I think you scared the Dooky right out of little ’ole Pooky here.”
“Where’s the Gator ?”  Fred demanded.
“Over there by the what’s left of the living room lamp,”  Buzz answered.  “See its eyes and head lurkin’ there right under the lamp shade ?”
“Gee whillickers, I do !”  Hank proclaimed.
“Yeah, I see it now,”  Fred said.  “Thank ya’, Buzz.  We owe you one.”
“Naw, you owe me a six-pack of Bud,”  Buzz smiled.  “I already told you Boys that.”
“So you did.  So you did, Buzz,”  Fred admitted.
“Thank you, Young Men for saving Pooky from that Alligator,”  the Little Old Lady said gratefully.  “He’s means everything to me, since my Harry passed last year.”
“Think nothing’ of it, Ma’am,”  Fred answered.  “It was our pleasure to save your precious Pooky.”
“Alright, Paddle Man, we are all in your Stalwart Hands,”  Fred announced to his friend, Buzz.
“There is not a Wart on my Hands, Fred,” Buzz retorted.  “And my Hands never Stall when there is Important Work to be done.”
Smiling widely, Buzz pushed his paddle into water, and backed them off of what used to be the Little Old Lady’s front porch.  “Do you Boys know where we’re headin’?
“In the opposite direction from here,”  Hank said matter-of-factly.
“Sounds promisin’ to me, Boys,”  Buzz said with certainty.


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A Young Boy/Man's Rage, and A Knife He Wanted to Be a Gun
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