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Horse made of glass - Part 13
by Katerina Charisi
2017-08-13 09:33:52
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… And then he met her. He met her and he got confused. The seed of disbelief in everything he had learned in his life planted deep in his guts. When he first told her “I want my woman at home” and she laughed, back then in the pool bar she’d met him and said “well I ain’t going to spend a life living with two old people”. And he felt anger burning inside him for goddamit that was the right thing to do. And he asked her “how much does this guy pay you?” And she said “what?” And he said again “tell me how much this fat guy over here pays you” and she’d said “thirty”.

“Thirty. Then I’ll give you thirty to stay home.”

kate_400She had laughed again and he sipped his drink and hit the glass on the bar. “Don’t laugh, I’m dead serious”, and then he grinned and tried to find words to explain that he was capable of taking care of a woman and a home. “My woman will stay home. No rough hands and broken face from working in the fields, no sore back and swollen feet from washing dishes and serving drinks in a filthy bar.” He said the last part lowing his eyes, afraid he might had insulted her. “I mean… I want ya to have enough time to do your… things. Friends and hair and dresses and stuff. Whatever.” She couldn’t help it but laughed again. “No need to ask for money, just have your own to buy stuff. Same as here but different, if ya know what I mean.” She shook her head and smiled at him, still uncertain of his intentions; still uncertain of what he really meant, but he had blushed and she melted.

“I want children and I want their mother at home”, he added next and she sank in his green eyes and believed him. God she believed him for this was more like a dream, wishing to be a mother who would raise her own children and be close to them until they grow up, and she longed for this as she remembered her own childhood of hard working parents always absent, growing in a house full of toys but emptiness and silence lurking in every corner.

And she quit her job and followed him on the mountains and stayed home as he wanted and she had wanted it too, trying to fit in the new family she had found, unsure and insecure for not really knowing how to act with so different people around her, people so used to their own ways of doing everything, unwilling to cope or change a thing. She tried hard; harder than she could ever imagine. But the accident with his back few months later changed it all, and they left what he - with such devotion and care - called home, the place he had promised his mother would never leave. Home.

And her mother in law hated her for that ever since.

She had taken her last child from her.

One morning he bent to put on his socks while getting ready to leave for work to the cabin he was building few miles away and he stayed there unable to move. He cried “Jesus almighty I can’t move at all” and fell back on the couch and sweat ran down his forehead, stretching his right leg and trying to find some comfort but couldn’t find any. When the doctor came later he said “herniation” and they looked at him all confused for not having a clue what that meant. The doctor explained and he thanked him for nothing and tried to stand up and he cried “Fuck, I can’t move” and fell back on the couch again, face reddened in anger and despair. The doctor nodded and walked to the door and then said “find a painkiller that works and stay down. You should consider doin’ something else for a livin’ when you get back on your feet though”; and he left.

And he spent nearly a year in bed and she helped him dress and undress and she washed him with a sponge and a bucket of warm water and she took him to the bathroom and looked at the dirty bulb on the ceiling while he peed. And she woke at nights and helped him turn to his side for feeling sore being constantly in bed and she did it all for nearly a year and never complained, not even sighed for not hurting his pride even more.

And she couldn’t leave him a minute alone and she spent almost all of her savings for none of them could work and the few chicken his parents took care of wasn’t enough and the dry land needed hands to dig and plow and there was no one else around to do it for him and they had barely survived in the end.

Once he got back on his feet he went to talk to the man who owned a two stories building to the main road’s side about renting the place, and it was the perfect place for a coffee shop that would maybe serve a few drinks at Saturday nights too, but all and all it was four stone walls with mold in every corner and nothing else except rats and scorpions and he had to get the man lower the price. The house above was not in better shape either, but her excitement for running their own little business and working again in a job she knew well had convinced him. Masonry was out of the question if he wanted to remain on his feet till he got old, the doctor had warned.

And he counted their money and said “there’s no way to make this shithole into somethin’ nice” and he talked about it with his parents and they said “we’re sorry that can’t help ya”. And he asked from his brother for a loan and he said “sorry” and then asked from his sister but she too said “no, sorry”.

And he’d sat on the sofa and smoked and murmured to himself “I ain’t knowin’ how to make this work” and put his head on his hands and she felt sorry for him and his siblings’ denial and she promised to ask her father for help.

She had called her father and told him so and so and her father listened to her carefully and in the end he had said “I’ll give you the money but you make damn sure you get yourself some insurance for it, because I am not going to give ten thousands for a place that doesn’t belong to you and I don’t care if you’re going to marry him, I told you already that man’s no good for you”.

And she tried to stay calm but felt tears burning her eyes and she wanted to scream to his face that he had no idea what hell the last year had been for both of them and she just asked “what man’s good for me then, dad?” and her father had said “don’t get mad at me little girl, a father only cares about what’s best for his only daughter.”

“The best for your only daughter is whatever makes her happy and not what her father thinks is the best.”

But her father laughed and said “I won’t argue about that, but a man who’s meeting his future wife’s father for the first time and won’t show up doesn’t convince me is the best man for my girl.”

“I’d told you it was his job. He didn’t have a choice. And that was too long ago.”

“Well, I still remember it. He could of have called still and not put you in the front to justify the situation. You know I don’t like that kind of behavior. It shows no respect and it shows weakness and I want you to be with someone who will stand up and do what he has to do as men do.”



Horse made of glass
Part 1 -Part 2 -Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6Part 7 - Part 8 -Part 9 -Part 10 -Part 11 

Part 12 -Part 13 -

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