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Pa Mockingbird Gets Caught Wire-Tapping
by Leah Sellers
2017-03-11 10:46:11
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“Pa ?!”  Pa ?!  What in tarnation are you doin’ up here tappin’ away at that electrical telephone wire beneath your feet ?!”  Ma Mockingbird demanded as she settled on top of the wooden telephone pole close behind her mate.
“Well, what does it look like I’m doin’, Ma ?”  Pa Mockingbird stopped tapping the wire with his rapine beak just long enough to ask.
wire01_400“Pa, in case you have forgotten.  We are Mockingbirds.  We are Song Makers not Wire-Tappers.  I would think that a Woodpecker would be more and better suited to the task you have set your beak to.  But, come to think of it, I have never seen a Woodpecker peck on anything other than wood,”  Ma Mockingbird replied.  “So, again, I find myself askin’, Pa, why are you flappin’ way up here Tappin’ on an old telephone wire ?”
“I am gatherin’ Knowledge, Ma.  Or at least I will be once I figure out how this Wire-Tappin’ process works,”  Pa Mockingbird explained.  “I have been Tappin’ up and down at this confounded Wire for near half an hour or so, and I have heard nary a word from any Human Bein’ supposedly talkin’ away on this gol’durned thing.”
“Well, I’m not sure that what you are doin’ is safe, Pa,”  Ma Mockingbird warned.  “Remember that Telephone Lineman we saw that nearly shocked himself to death when he accidentally touched these wires the wrong way, a couple of years back ?”
“That jolt of Electricity nearly knocked him clear out of that metal bucket he was lifted up in.  It was a good thing that those two other Human Bein’s were with that electrified fella’ to help him out, and call that ambulance with the flashin’ cherry on top as soon as it happened.”
“Yep, I remember that happenin’, Ma,”  Pa Mockingbird said as he flew up to the top of the telephone right beside Ma Mockingbird.  “I sure bet that Human Bein’ had a few fried circuits before all was said and done.”
“Well, that same thing can happen to you, Pa,”  Ma Mockingbird chided.  “And we don’t have any fancy ambulances to call on to save your scrawny carcass.  So why don’t you just call it day ?”
Well, maybe you’ve got a point, Ma,”  Pa Mockingbird admitted.
“Darn right I do.  Where in the world did you get such a cock-a-mamey idea like that anyway, Pa ?”  Ma Mockingbird asked peckishly.  “Have you been hangin’ around that ‘ole Domino Gang down at the General Store again ?”
“Yes, I confess that I have.”  Pa Mockingbird answered.  “I must admit that they are certainly a very entertainin’ group.  And I always hear the most interestin’ stories there.”
“Interestin’ is not the word I’d use for their Tall Tales,”  Ma Mockingbird replied grumpily.
“Wire-Tappin’ is not a Tall Tale, Ma.  It’s a real thing that Human Bein’s do to one another when they want find out information from one Human Bein’ or another.”
“Well, why don’t they just flat out ask the Human Bein’ they’re Wire-Tappin’ what they had to say ?”  Ma Mockingbird sniffed.  “I swear those Human Bein’s are a Strange Lot.”
“The Human Bein’s doin’ the Wire-Tappin’ don’t want the Human Bein’s they’re Wire-Tappin’ to know that they’re eavesdroppin’ on ‘em, Ma,”  Pa Mockingbird answered.  “It’s all supposed to be real Secretive and incognito.”
“Sounds downright obnoxiously rude and interferin’ if you ask me,”  Ma Mockingbird said haughtily.  “They should be outright ashamed of themselves for doin’ somethin’ so intrusive and dishonest.  Don’t Human Bein’s believe in Privacy ?”
“Yes, the Human Bein’s that play in the Dominoes Gang are always talking about how they value their Privacy,”  Pa Mockingbird said defensively. 
“They’re always complainin’ about how the Electronic Gadget Age that they all live in makes bein’ a Private Human Bein’ more and more difficult.  But they’re all dependent on their Gadgets.  They use them all of the time, all day long to stay in contact with one another, and other Human Bein‘s important to ‘em, and what they all call the Outside World that’s inside all of their Electronic Gadgets.  So, they all agree that it is just somethin’ they’re willin’ to put up with for the time bein, until they can figure somethin’ else out.’”
“Don’t the Human Bein’s have somethin’ called Laws that protect their Privacy ?”  ma Mockingbird asked pointedly.
“Yes, yes, I’ve heard the Dominoes Gang make mention of Privacy Laws, but there’s a Band of Thieves called Hackers that break into other folks Electronic Gadgets all of the time for one nefarious reason or another or just because they can.  Guess they’re bored and can’t think of anything better to do with their time,”  Pa Mockingbird answered.
“Well, Pa, if you want to get picky about Privacy and eavesdroppin’ on others when you shouldn’t, you should find a mirror to look into,”  Ma Mockingbird said matter-of-factly.
“What ?”  Pa Mockingbird flipped his wings out in surprised exasperation.
“That’s right.  You heard me.  You eavesdrop on the Dominoes Gang almost every day for hours on end without them knowin’ about it,”  ma Mockingbird explained.  “You may as well be Wire-Tappin’.”
“They do too know it, from time to time, Ma.  Sometimes, when I’m feelin’ in particularly fine Voice, I’ll Sing ‘em a flourish of thousand Song snippets or so.  It’s my way of showin’ ‘em my appreciation for the entertainment they give to this Old Bird from time to time,”  Pa Mockingbird said proudly.
Ma Mockingbird, flipped her tail-feathers, and said, “That’s one of the many things I love you about you, Pa.  You never cease to surprise a Soul.  Why don’t we head on back to the Nest, and see what we can pick up out of the ground for dinner along the way ?”
Pa Mockingbird grinned appreciatively sayin’,”  I hear some wrigglin’ grub worms and buzzin’ grasshoppers callin’ our names in that wide, green field straight ahead, Ma.  Shall we ?”
Bouncing off the top of the telephone pole simultaneously, Ma and Pa Mockingbird spread their ready wings, and headed out into the blues skies, and one of the Greatest Interspecies Mysteries of All. “What’s for dinner, honey ?”


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