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Lament of the old wolf
by Gordana Mudri
2016-11-02 10:54:33
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I'm lying in the mud. There you have pushed me ignoring my needs, my age and my dignity. I'm hungry but I won't beg.

gor01_400_12I can't hunt anymore. My senses are blurred. I can't run anymore. My bones are old. I can't compete with your young, strong bodies. My time has passed...

I was young and strong once. I could have jumped over the widest chasm defying danger. I could have chased the fastest deer through the forest running for hours. I could have overcome the highest peak chained with ice just for howling on the moon.

And I had a pack behind my back...

It was my strength and my pride, my joy and my obligation. We have shared and cared together.

And then things changed. We lost our forest and our shelters. The hunters have set insidious traps, luring us, cheating our instincts. They have sown suspicions and fear. We wanted to survive, to stay indivisible pack, but our cubs started to change. They bit the hunter's bait seduced by the sweet scents.

They didn't want our protection and our wisdom. Our pack started to collapse...

I'm looking at you now, in silence from aside. You are living together but you don't dare to turn your backs to each other, fearing of betraying. Your eyes are filled with hatred. Your canines are covered with the blood of greed. You are taking more than you need, trying to prove who is braver, who is stronger, who is faster, who is more capable to take, who is... a bigger beast.

And you expect me to fight against you, to earn my right for living among you.

You growl at me every time I move my weak body. You bite me every time I'm trying to remind you of your real being and the meaning of the pack...

I know you hate my presence. You hate it because you are afraid that one day you will be at my place, huddled in the mud... Forgotten...

That is the future you have set for yourself, infatuated with traps of cunning hunters...

I will die, praying for you... I will die keeping my memories, the memories you will never have... About sharing and caring, about running with the pack, about howling on the moon in freedom.

I will die, praying for you... Not begging you for my right to live.


Gordana Mudri




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