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Labor day jokes
by Jay Gutman
2016-09-05 10:14:27
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Labor day jokes

-I enjoyed that burkini ban debate with sipping quite a few Sex on the Beach.

-When Taylor sued Kanye, the judge decided they would both get detention.

labour01_400_01-I made a million bucks thanks to a picture of Kim Kardashian and Bella Hadid together with clothes on.

-If Mexico wins gold, silver and bronze at the pole vault, Trump makes them pay for a higher wall.

-US Supreme Court holds debate over second amendment. An 8-0 vote concludes second amendment is not the right to kill people.

-Usain Bolt claims he did not have sexual relationships with those women.

-Heat wave in France means you can only swim with a burkini if you cool off with beer.

-UN Human Rights Council calls my jokes a “violation of the human right not to laugh.”

-Faking a robbery after a drunken night is the new doping in sports.

-Rise of air rage makes cruise sales explode.

labour02_400-Common Core bans calculus and English as subjects replacing them by self-confidence and empathy courses.

-Poll claims 80% millennials can’t tell difference between 9/11 and Seven-Eleven. Another 6% think 9/11 is a Halal mini-mart.

-Man gets arrested at airport for forgetting to shave. Then spends night in jail for suggesting that he can shave right now.

-For safety reasons, the only language now allowed on planes is English. Numbers are not allowed either.

-Harry Potter and Pokemon enter competition for who will deliver the most characters. Pokemon in the lead, Harry Potter close behind.

-Kid finds treasure while playing Pokemon Go. Turns out treasure was fake.

-Driver gets license suspended for playing Pokemon Go while driving. He demands clemency as he was trying to tell his wife not to nag him.

-Egyptian judo player finds out the hard way that Israelis are not monsters. He still can’t believe it.

-Journalists go on strike because they’re tired of having to remind teachers every year that they’re not allowed to be in a relationship with their students.

-US voters hesitate to vote Trump now that they realize they’re not getting his money.


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