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Daddy, You're a Trumpian! Daddy, You're a Trumpian!
by Leah Sellers
2016-02-23 12:58:39
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“Daddy, why are you so excited about Mr. Donald Trump bein’ our next president ?”
 
“He’s the best man for the job, Baby Girl.  He’s ruthless and he understands the Golden Rule. ‘That Them’s who’s got the Gold, has got the Rule’ !”
 
“Daddy, Mama says that the Golden Rule is, ‘Do unto Others as You would have Them Do unto You‘.”
 
“You’re Mama may have heard that wrong, Baby Girl, because in the Real World it’s more like Do unto Others before they Can Do unto You.”
 
Baby Girl looked up at her Daddy in total confusion.  “Uh-Uh, Daddy.  Even the Preacher says that the Golden Rule is what Mama says it is.”
 
tr01_400_01Daddy patted his Baby Girl on top of her head saying,  “Your Daddy is just joshin’ you, Little One.  You listen to your Mama and the Preacher about the Golden Rule.  They don’t live in the Real World the way your Daddy does.  That’s why our points-of-view are a little different.”
 
“Daddy if you live in the Real World then what World do all of the rest of us live in ?  Do we live in a Make Believe World, Daddy ?”
 
“No, no, Baby Girl.  I did not mean that at all.  It’s just that you and your Mama, and the Preacher live in a different World than your Daddy does….”
 
“But Daddy, you are a Deacon of our Church.  Don’t we all live in the very same World with the very same Rules ?”
 
“Why, Baby Girl, what a peculiar question.  I am a Deacon of our Church because the Church thinks that I deserve to be a Deacon, because I am a Man of Standing in our fair Community.  The Congregation Voted me into that lofty position, because I am a Good Role Model for others to admire and to aspire to be like.  It is a great Honor to be a Deacon of my Church.”
 
“Daddy, do they know that you Cheat on Mama and your Family with other younger women ?”
“Why, no.  And I don’t,”  Daddy said with a quickly reddening face and neck.
 
“Yes you do, Daddy.  I eavesdropped when one of the young women you’re Cheatin’ with came to our house to tell Mama that she needed to divorce you.  To let you go.  So, that she could have you all to herself.  And that she was not the only young woman that you were Cheatin’ on Mama and your Family with.  That there were a few more that you were datin’ and sleepin’ with on your out-of-town meetings, Daddy.”
 
“But why would you go out-of-town to sleep with somebody, Daddy.  Sleepin’ is borin’.  I hate bedtime.”
 
“What were you doing eavesdropping, Young Lady.  Your Mama and I have taught you to behave better than that.”
 
“Yes, sir.  And I have also been taught that ‘thou shalt not commit Adultery‘.”  Baby Girl paused and asked, ”Daddy, why is it bad for Adults to have bedtime with one another ?” 
 
“And Daddy, the Bible also says that ‘thou shalt not have any other gods before me’.  And you love Money.”
 
“There is only one True God, Baby Girl.  And only one Savior.  Our Lord, Jesus Christ, God’s Son.”
 
“Yes sir.  I have been taught to Believe that, too, Daddy.  And I got Baptized and dunked under water by the Preacher last year.  And that’s what makes me a Christian.  And that’s when all of my ten year old sins were washed away, and floated down the Baptistry’s drain to disappear underground forever and ever.  That’s when Jesus made me whole.”
 
“Daddy, can a person be Re-Baptized ?”
 
“Why do you ask that, Baby Girl ?”
 
“Just wonderin’.”
 
“Well, yes, I suppose they can be, if they felt that they had gone astray, and needed to Re-Commit themselves and their lives to God.”
 
“Daddy, why do you like to gamble, and go drinkin’ and carousing’ and destroyin’ anyone who doesn’t agree with you or who gets in your way ?”
 
“Who said those things about me, Baby Girl ?  I will wring their scrawny necks for spreadin’ lies about me.”
 
“Well, Daddy, I must confess that I was eavesdroppin’ once again a little while back, and I heard uncle Sam and uncle Jeb laughin’ and jokin’ about you doin’ all of those things.  They said that it was especially funny because Mama thought that she was marryin’ a man who was gonna’ become a Preacher.  They said that everyone in the Family was surprised, everybody, but them, that is, when you left the seminary and became a Real Estate Person.”
 
“Mr. Donald Trump is a Real Estate Person, too, Daddy.  And he likes to build Walls between people same as you.”
 
“And I hear other folks say all of the time that Mr. Donald Trump makes fun of women, cripples, folks who fought in wars, because he didn’t.”
 
“And Daddy, he calls folks who are different from him wetbacks, pepper bellies, niggers, towel heads, camel jockeys, chinks…”
 
“Daddy, remember that joke you told uncle Sam, when you asked, “What do you call a fat Chinaman ?  A Chunk.  I never did understand that joke Daddy, but y’all laughed real loud together when you told it.”
 
Daddy stared unsmilingly at his Baby Girl.
 
“Anyway, Daddy, you and Mr. Donald Trump have a lot in common, because he Believes that if you’re not a Rich and Powerful Winner that you are a Disgusting Loser, too.”
 
“And Mr. Donald Trump likes to Cheat, and Gamble, and Drink and Carouse around, and destroy folks who don’t see things his way or don’t do what he wants them to do, too.”
 
“And just like you, Daddy, Mr. Donald Trump can sell snow to the Eskimos.”
 
“Daddy, I know what you are.  You’re not a Christian.  You’re a Trumpian !
 
“A Trumpian ?!  No, no, Baby Girl.  Let me set you straight…..”
 
“Now, Daddy, what is a Pope ?”
 


       
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