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Too Much Coffee on an Empty Stomach Too Much Coffee on an Empty Stomach
by Leah Sellers
2016-02-01 12:06:58
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“Ralph, what in the world are you readin’ there, Buddy.  I haven’t seen you give anything that much eye-bogglin’ attention since that heifer of yours gave birth to twins,”  Jebediah sat down across the table from his friend at one of the locals Favorite Restaurant, The Fluffy Top Café, and upturned his empty coffee cup, signaling the waitress’s attention to their table.
 
“This is a fascinatin’ document, Jebediah.  It’s the 90 page proposed Amendment to our very own United States of America Constitution turned out by our proud Conservative Republican Governor, Greg Abbott.  This document wants to really pare down the Powers of the Central Government and turn those Powers over to the States and fella’s just like Gregg Abbott,”  Ralph replied.
 
Jebediah cleared his throat, “My wife read that thing, and she calls that document the Constitutional Manifesto-Presto-Chango-for-the-Crazies.  She says that it’s a clarion call for the De-Constructionist, gun totin’, Mad Hatters of America, but does nothin’ to find productive Solutions to the very real problems that only the concerted efforts of the Unified States and National Governments of We the People can Solve.”
 
“Well, what else do you expect her to say, Jebediah ?  She’s one of those Liberal thinkin’, ’Do unto Others as you would have them Do unto You’, Church Ladies.  And those gals are all Crazy if you ask me,”  Ralph declared dismissively.
 
tex01_400_04“Who wears the pants in your house anyways, Jebediah ?  You or Peggy Sue ?”  Ralph continued.
 
“Actually, we both do, Ralph.  And Peggy Sue looks mighty fine in those Levi jeans of hers.  And I don’t mind sayin’ so,”  Jebediah chortled.
 
Ralph smiled at his friend.  “Clara, what does a man have to do to get a cup of coffee over here ?”
 
The perky waitress was already making her way over to Ralph and Jebediah’s table with a steaming pot of coffee.  “Good mornin’ to you, too, Ralph.  You fellas ready for your usual ?”
 
“You got that right,”  Ralph exclaimed.  “And if you would, can you keep that coffee comin’ a little more regularly ?”
 
“I will now that Jeb is here,”  Clara grinned.  “Besides, you looked really absorbed in what you were readin’, Ralph.  I was tryin’ to be polite and give you a little space.”
 
“Thank you, Clara.  That was thoughtful of you, but I could do with a little less space and more coffee, eggs over easy, ham and LaVerne’s homemade buttermilk biscuits and gravy right about now, if you, please,”  Ralph answered sarcastically.
 
“You know, Ralph, you keep givin’ me that surly lip of yours, and I just might scramble those eggs of yours,”  Clara said playfully, as she sauntered away from the table to attend on other customers.
 
Ralph smiled after her saying, “I like governor Greg Abbott, Jebediah, because he supports Ethics.  Don’t you remember when he declared that Ethics Reform was an Emergency ?”
 
“All he did was talk about bein’ for Ethics, Ralph.  He did nothin’ to push it through our very Republican Texas Legislature.  In fact, he just sat back on his haunches and did nada.  And Abbott, and his cohorts and cronies, still take monies from Predatory Lenders and tacitly support their Vulturistic, bone-pickin’ of the Middle Class and Workin’ Poor.  How is that Ethical ?  How is that Reformational,”  Jebediah demanded ?
 
“And our fine Governor makes $134,000 dollars from the Tax Payers for his salary, and only paid $104.00 dollars in taxes.  I’d like to know how he pulls off that little Numbers Trick.  And he has We the Taxpayers also payin’ for his Housin‘, just like Rick Perry did when he was in office.  How is that Ethical ?”  Jebediah asked more forcefully.  “That man makes more in one year than some eleven Poor Workin’ Class Families in the State of Texas, who get harassed and fined for not payin’ taxes they cannot afford, and that’s all he invests in the State he declares that he loves so much ?”
 
“And we’ve got all of this Infra-structure that needs to be addressed in our great State, and they do it through taxin’ folks more just to get to Work by buildin’ more and more Toll Roads,”  Jebediah added as he took another sip of his black coffee.
 
“And he didn’t do the Middle Class and the Workin’ Poor any favors when he refused to expand Medicaid or access any of the Affordable Care, either.  He left Texas with the largest amount of Uninsured Folks in all of America, Ralph.”
 
“And, he, and most of the other Republicans are eggin’ on the Insurance Companies deliberate attempts at sabotagin’ the Affordable Care Act by lettin’ them charge out of sight, darned expensive deductibles, and lack luster overall payments for any kind of hospital care that Folks might come to need.”
 
“Most Folks have a deductible of $3,000.000 to $6,000.00 dollars, and the most the Insurance Companies will pay out for a hospital visit can be as low as $6,000.000 dollars for many of the Middle Class or the Workin’ Poor.  And you and I both know that a Hospital visit can chew up $6,000.000 in just a couple of days in many instances,” Jebediah grumbled.
 
“What a game all of those scoundrels are playin’ at with the lives of Folks, and yet they say that’s what they’re all about !  Hogwash, Ralph,
Hogwash !”
 
Ralph stared at his old friend without saying a word.  After taking a swig of coffee from his own cup he said, “I like the man’s stance on Guns and Immigration, Jebediah.  And he’s Pro-Life.  I like the way he stood up to the Supreme Court’s pathetic rulin’ that gays could get married when he issued that directive of his to the State Agencies on how to circumvent the Supreme Court’s Law.  Of course, our Legislature chickened-out and ignored Abbott’s directive, but at least he tried.”
 
“Well, I’m an avid hunter and Protector of my Property and Rights, just like you Ralph, but I can tell you that I am mighty uneasy about Guns bein’ allowed on College Campuses, and bein’ Open-Carry in our State now.  I don’t cotton to the idea of anybody walkin’ into the ’ole Fluffy Top Café, here, or my Church right in the middle of an enthusiastic, but misunderstood, Halleluiah or an Amen, with a possible hair-pin trigger finger attached to a holstered automatic pistol.”
 
“And, me and Peggy Sue, are Pro-Life, too.  You know that.  But I am mighty uncomfortable gettin’ involved in the Personal and Individual Rights and Lives of Folks to make decisions about their own Lives.  Lord knows, the world has enough abandoned and starving’ Babies in it already, and we’re barely takin’ care of them.  And Babes like that bounced from Foster Home to Foster Home or Orphanage to Orphanage or Homeless Shelter to Homeless Shelter don’t always make the most trustworthy and productive decisions later on down the line as Citizens.  Some do, but most don’t.”
 
“And to add to that, Abbott took one look at a You-Tube video that had been highly manipulated and edited regardin‘ aspects of this subject, and immediately decided to cut Medicaid and HIV Prevention Fundin’ to Planned Parenthood in the State of Texas without any formal investigation.  That just does not sit well with me, Ralph.  I expect more out of our so-called Leaders of State.”
 
“And what about his signin’ of this State Immigration Discrimination Plan and their spendin’ 800 million dollars of our State’s money beefin’ up  militaristic and militaristically trained Law Enforcement Agencies to act on it, and other things ?  I’m for the protection of our State, but does it take that much money and that much militarization ?”
 
“And as a general rule, I’m not for discriminatin’ against Folks.  Especially Folks runnin’ away from very dangerous situations, and just lookin’ for better Opportunities for themselves and their Families.  We need to be makin’ some better and kindlier decisions around all of that, and seein’ what we can do to possibly help them stay home in their own countries.  And that takes time and bridge-buildin’. Not more guns and more bombs and more Tall Walls.”
 
“And then there’s that whole fiasco with the ’ole Jade Helm 15 conspiracy foolishness that Abbott took sides on.  Abbott actually agreed with some talk radio air-jockey who said that the Jade Helm 15 military exercises scheduled outside of Bastrop somewhere were a Secret Plot by President Obama to invade Texas via some Walmart tunnels.  What are citizens like you and me to make of decision makin’ like that, Ralph ?”
 
“In fact, some clowns listenin’ to all of that nonsense actually gathered their guns and went down to spy on the military and its exercises.  Can you believe that ?”
 
Ralph squirmed uneasily in his wooden chair.  “Me and some of the Huntin’ Club fellas were some of those Concerned Citizens you’re malignin’ who went to scope things out down there, Jebediah.  Just in case anything got out of hand.  And we never did find those tunnels that air-jockey and Abbott discussed.  We were just doin’ our duty as Concerned Citizens for a good cause.  Nothin‘ wrong with that, now is there,” Ralph asked
challengingly ?
 
“You boys ready for a mighty fine breakfast ?”  Clara chirped, as she unloaded her tray of goodies onto the table, and poured the two old friends another cup of black coffee.
 
Jebediah smiled up at the young waitress. “Sure thing, Clara, I could sure use a change of topic, before I develop a case of indigestion never before seen in the State of Texas.”
 
“You might want to lay off drinkin’ so much coffee before meals, Jeb.  Coffee always makes me a little sick and jittery if I drink too much of it on an empty stomach,”  Clara offered.
 
“I’m sure you’re right about that, Clara.  In fact, I’ll bet that’s just what it is.  Too much coffee on an empty stomach,”  Jebediah quietly agreed.


       
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