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Is there Christmas for all? Is there Christmas for all?
by Gordana Mudri
2015-12-25 11:07:28
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Is there Christmas for all?

There is no hand to pull you out of your misery, there are no ears to hear your scream while you're falling deeper and deeper, counting your last moments. You can't move, there is no place you can go, there is no future for those who are already deleted in everybody’s eyes.

gor01_400_05Christmas is coming, New Year is coming. And it's the same every year, a new hope, new wishes as if some miracle from heavens will come and it will spill some magic dust, it will delete all worries and it will wipe all tears. But in the end, it's just a dream, childish fantasy; a fake feeling we want to preserve. There are no miracles. We are drowning, deceiving ourselves that we're still keeping our heads above water, even we barely can breathe. We're still living …but our souls have died. Buried beneath all previous unfulfilled wishes, beneath the relationships that fell apart, beneath the lack of understanding. We walk alone, feeding a fake picture.

On the cold streets, with lost jobs, in ruined houses, in destroyed families, we are just ghosts of the past, shadows of the memories. While the money rules the world, eating our dignity… While the greed sows the seed of insensitivity… While this should be the time for love and understanding, hate speaks even from the altars, turning off the light of common sense.

It takes too long. And there are too many of us - day by day, with lost dreams and broken lives. Too many souls without mood for fake miracles and fake lights. Our dark is too deep... This is not our Christmas, this is not our time of joy. This is just another day we've survived as forgotten, as deleted, as invisible.

 *******************************************

Da li je svima Božić?

Nema nikoga da te izvuče iz bijede, nema nikoga da čuje tvoj vrisak dok padaš sve dublje i dublje, brojeći posljednje dane. Ne možeš se pomaknuti, nemaš kuda otići, nema budućnosti za one koje ničije oči ne vide.

gor02_400_03Božić dolazi. Nova Godina dolazi. I sve je isto kao i prije, nova nada, nove želje, kao da će čudo doći s neba i prosuti čarobnu prašinu, izbrisati sve brige i obrisati sve suze. A na kraju, sve je samo san, dječja fantazija i lažni osjećaj kojeg želimo zadržati. Nema čuda. Utapamo se obmanjujući sami sebe da nam voda još nije došla do grla, a već jedva hvatamo dah. Još uvijek živimo, a duše su nam odavno umrle. Pokopane su ispod svih prijašnjih neostvarenih želja, ispod svih raspadnutih veza, ispod sveg nerazumijevanja. Hodamo sami, hraneći lažnu sliku.

Na hladnim ulicama, nezaposleni, u srušenim kućama, u uništenim obiteljima, samo smo duhovi prošlosti, sjene sjećanja. Dok novac vlada svijetom žderući naše dostojanstvo… Dok pohlepa sije sjeme neosjetljivosti… Dok mržnja progovara čak i s oltara i zatire svjetlo razuma u danima rezerviranim za ljubav i razumijevanje.

Predugo sve ovo traje. A nas je svakim danom sve više i više, s izgubljenim snovima, s uništenim životima. Previše duša koje se ne mogu radovati lažnim čudima i lažnom svjetlu. Naša je tama prejaka…  Ovo nije naš Božić, ovo nije naše vrijeme radosti. Ovo je samo još jedan dan koji smo preživjeli kao zaboravljeni, kao izbrisani, kao nevidljivi.


 
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