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Schizophrenia Night Schizophrenia Night
by Michael Lee Johnson
2015-01-15 10:39:53
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Schizophrenia Night
(Devoted to John Nash, A Beautiful Mind Movie, 2001)

I am a chalkboard computer brain.
I have updated drawn raw
images even the classroom
students cannot see, hear, nor understand.
They sit quietly in Disneyland
wondering about my eccentricities
I capture there stillness, then I speak.
I am the professor, special agent of government
dream tracer of crossroad puzzles.
Photographic memory in private rooms,
did I hear a critic, erase
destroy dissociative thoughts.
I walk out unsteady in disbelief.
Is there a shadow of storybooks following me?

I am a genius; I know who I am.
I spend nights in formula construction
drawing full color images of my brain,
percentages of gray matter lost.

I stick my ego to the eagle of the sky.

When on a high on an airplane, self-love,
full bloom, I keep my enemies at bay.
I shelter the skeletons of thought.

I trust Jesus because His image is stable,
every group I have ever known says "The Lord's Prayer."
Even then, new members leave, disappear, I hear what they said.
I had an MRI to trace all my youthful abuses.
There were no images there but voices I remember.
I cast there shadows, audio, visual for show, in the background.
In time, they quiet their voices.  I walk beyond their images.
I pass on, they still screenplay.

You have to stretch lean, refer to sanity,
drink Asian tea, smooth out hallucinated sounds
before that stage, I took that Nobel prize,
even before, I forgave you.

*******************************************************************************

Footnote:  John Nash has suffered most of his life with severe paranoid schizophrenia and has gone on to be a celebrated American mathematician whose works in game theory, and differential geometry are appreciated around the world.  The movie A Beautiful Mind, portrays Nash's mathematical genius and his struggles with schizophrenia and how he went on to win a Nobel Prize.

Michael Lee Johnson kindly made available for us an audio, reading of the poem. You can listen to it, HERE!


   
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Abigail George2015-01-18 12:53:47
I was as inspired by Schizophrenia Night as I was by A Beautiful Mind and Russell Crowe's portrayal of John Nash.


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