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Family Confab
by Dr. Lawrence Nannery
2014-04-23 11:48:53
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Family Confab

The performance was very good.
Alan had been lecturing the family, consisting of his mother and brother.

His lecture had been about where all the bodies are buried.
He had ranged over principalities and territories, far and wide.
Every body is buried somewhere, he had argued closely.

"What about those lost at sea?" his mother had quizzed.
"Well, they're buried in the sea," he'd answered.
"But which parts of which sea?  They can float over to anywhere, can't they?"
"So what?  All seas are connected, all seas are one."
"Unless they are lakes," corrected Amos, his younger brother,
Who was always trying to show him up in front of mother.
"Yes, of course," answered Alan.  "That goes without saying."
"Well, who cares anyway?" responded little brother.
"That's a silly question," snapped Alan.  "It was an assigned topic."
"In order that the family discuss topical things," beamed mother.

"Everything's under something: the air, the water, the earth…"
"But sometimes," corrected little brother, "they're just left wherever they fell to rot and rot."
"Or be eaten by eagles," he responded.
"Or by wolves," added brother.
"Or rats or ants," said mother, resignedly.
They all stared at one another, uncertain how to continue.

Alan threw up his hands and declared his lack of a dramatic interest.
"This isn't fascinating, like sharks and barracudas attacking,
Or the titanic struggles between lions and hyenas."
Amos said, “Well, we could talk about building supers,
Their relative merits in terms of ferocity, drunkenness, and whether they have dogs…”
Alan was not very moved.  He said, after a short pause,
“You mean ‘Hinky Dink the Balltosser’ and ‘Skin Shit the Buttongrinder,’ folks like that?”
“No no no!” His younger brother shouted, “you think you’re so smart putting foreigners down!
But what about our own lovable Walter the Barrel-Bellied?  A wonderful man,
Especially to us children, who went and married the old widow woman down the block
And then went on and went away.”

Alan made a face, was going to defend himself, but mother spoke, defending:
"He's only nine now, Alan, but you know as well as I
That he is a genius about everything, and that here he is right once again."


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