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Hello? Is AnyBody There?!
by Leah Sellers
2014-01-06 14:14:49
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“Hello, Representative/Senator Red Ragin’ Tea Partyin’/Republican Sir/Ma’am ?”
“Hello ?  This line sure has a lot of static on it, but can you hear me ?  You can ?  Well, if you say so, I‘ll give it a try.”
“Excuse me, but did you ask why I called your office ?  You did ?  Well, that’s good.  Listen, I was wonderin’ if you could get hold of Representative Paul Ryan, and some of the other Red Ragin’ Tea Partyin’/Republicans that feel the way he does about Fishin’ ?”
“Yep, you heard me right.  You remember how he told a large audience, and the American tv news folks that if you “Teach folks how to Fish, then they can feed themselves with Fish, rather than dependin’ on others to feed them Fish, that they don’t know how to Fish for” or somethin’ like that ?”
“Well, my problem is not knowin’ how to Fish.  I Know how to Fish.  Been doin’ it successfully for a number of years, now.”
“My problem is not bein’ able to find a Lake with Fish in it, ‘cause for every three Lakes in America, only one Lake has Fish in it.  And me and every other UnEmployed FisherMan and FisherWoman is out there on that very same One-Outa’-Three Lake in a fishin’ boat or on a fishin’ dock or somewhere else out on dry land or suckin’ mud around that jam packed Lake with our fishin’ poles and lines bobbin’ and dredgin’ around for any and every Fish in that One-Outa’-Three Lake.”
tea01_400“All of us usin’ the best real and fake Fishin’ bait we already have or can find:  wrigglin’ worms, flippin’ minnows, night crawlers and creepers, hippity-hoppin’ grasshoppers, handmade feathered flies, plastic wrigglers…”
“Hello ?  Hello ?  Are you still there ?  Good, am I relieved to hear it. I thought I’d lost ya’.”
“Sir ?  Can you repeat that ?  Sure I understand.  The shorthand version of what you’re telling’ me is that I did lose you.  Well, that’s understandable.  Fishin’ can be a very complicated and time consumin’ business.”
“Yes, sir, like I was sayin’ before you got lost in the undercurrents of the millions of American UnEmployed Workers’ Realities of Fishin’ in a One-Outa‘-Three Lake with Fish in it. This Fishin’ for Fish that aren’t there or that can only be found in a vastly Over-Fished Lake is a tough business.  Yes sir, mighty tough.”
“Well, maybe I can reel ya’ back in with this line.  Without that monthly Unemployment Benefits Check that my Family and I have been dependin’ on durin’ this dry spell, my Family and I will lose our Family Home to Foreclosure.”
“Our Family Home is underwater ’cause of the Great Recession we’re all still tryin’ to climb out of, and the Housin’ Bubble you folks in Washington, and in our state legislatures, allowed the Banks and Wall Street to Create, Play around with, and finally Pop.”
“Yes sir, that’s right.  In fact I overheard that some of you Congress Men and Women, and your cohorts and cronies, have profited from buyin’ up some of the Foreclosed upon properties for pennies on the dollar, and then are turnin’ them around and makin’ a killin’ on the Re-Sales.”
“No sir, I’m not castin’ aspersions.  That’s the Combustible Fuel Capitalism runs on.  One person’s Foreclosure is another person’s Profit-Makin’ Opportunity and Financial Venturin’ Wind-Fall.”
“It’s Capitalism at its Dog-Eat-Doggie best.  Why I’d take advantage of me if I was you !  Ha !  Ha !  Yes, sir, you gotta’ respect that kind of Capitalistic Drive and Grab !  Yes Sireee !”
“But sir, you still have not answered my concerns.  Without that UnEmployed Benefits Check that Paul Ryan and the other Red Ragin’ Tea Partyin’/Republicans are denyin’ over a million long-term UnEmployed Americans as of December 28th, 2013, and many more outa’ work Americans in the months to come, because there are no Jobs to be had or Fish to fry.  How will I Feed, Clothe, and Shelter my Family and Me ?”
“Yes sir, I guess we could live out of our Family vehicle.”
“But sir,  if I have no money, how will I purchase gas for my car ?  If I can’t make my car payments, I’ll lose my car.  If I lose my car, how can I get out with my Family, who is at your suggestion supposed to be livin’ in my car with me, and look for a Job ?  And if I get a Job at a Cow-Moo-For-A-Filet hamburger joint somewhere for $7.50 hourly, even though my degree is in Civil Engineering, how will I get there with the car containing my Family and all of my worldly possessions that has been towed away for non-payments, because you Red Ragin’ Tea Partyin’/Republicans decided to deny me and My Family UnEmployment Benefits and the Full-Deal Fish Meal ?”
“Yes sir, I live in Texas.  You gotta have a car in Texas because of the distances you gotta’ travel to get anywhere in this state.”
“Yes sir, but when I lose my Home, I won’t have a mailin’ address for you to send me the End-of-the-Year Tax Break Check y’all are proposing’ to Congress, because my Family and I will be out on the street !”
“Where and How will my Children go to School ?  What happens if one of ’em gets sick ?  How do I get ’em to a doctor ?  How will I be able to get medical insurance ?”
“Yes sir, I’ve heard of Post Offices.  You’re talkin’ about the same United States Post Offices that some of you in Congress are tryin’ to bankrupt and get rid of due to the Profits that can be made off of Privatizin’ the Mailin’ Industry.  Yes, sir, I’m familiar with those soon to be extinct publicly owned entities.”
“But sir, without that UnEmployment Benefit Money which will put my Family and I out on the streets with little or no Hope, I will not be able to pay the fee to rent a Post Office Box for you to mail my End-of-the-Year Tax Break Check to.”
“Hello ?  Hello ?  Hello ?!  Our connection seems to have been lost, sir.
Hello ?  Hello ?  Is AnyOne there….?”

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